Five compliments that are actually meaningful

1. You look so happy today.

2. You are a breath of fresh air.

3. Being around you makes me feel safe.

4. You give the best advice.

5. Your idea was really interesting. Can you tell me more?

Subtle but extremely real forms of emotional abuse

• Demanding immediate response.
• Withholding affection as punishment.
• Not telling you what you did wrong, but expecting you to grovel for forgiveness.
• Intentional ‘forgetfulness’ about things and events that are important to you.
• Patronizing your opinion.
• Love-bombing you to erase bad behaviour.
• Creating a purgatory of ambiguity about your relationship status.

How to get anyone to do (almost) anything you want

1. Does the person have the ability to do what I want?

2. Does the person perceive the value they will get by doing what I want?

3. Does the person think the odds are very high that #2 will come true?

4. Can I lower the perceived cost to the person of doing what I want?

5. Can I lower the perceived risk to the person of doing what I want?