I clearly remember the first time I had an anxiety attack. I was sitting in a classroom full of thirteen years old like me....
INTROSPECTION
By Balqees Rahman
I clearly remember the first time I had an anxiety attack. I was sitting in a classroom full of thirteen years old like me. Our heads bent over our test sheets, when the teacher suddenly called that only five minutes were left to hand over the sheets. And suddenly the fear of not being able to complete my test on time gripped me; I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t remember what I was writing. All thoughts vanished except that my teacher and parents would be really angry with me if I got low marks. The world spun around me for several seconds. Although I was able to complete the test on time, that feeling stayed with me before every exam. I have been suffering from depression because of our educational system ever since. The night before my eleventh grade exam, I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to cry for without any reason, but I couldn’t because the tears were frozen in my eyes. And this year again when I suffered from anxiety due to exam, it made me ask serious question about our educational system, about how flawed it is.
Recent example of what happened at the medical entrance test of KPK explains how much our educational system is lacking in every aspect. The dishonesty of administration and the unfair assessment and grading has proved time and again that we need a positive change in our education system. Instead of developing a love for knowledge, it is breeding fear in us; fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of losing our dreams and fear of being judged on the basis of grades.
My four-year-old nephew just started school and he loves learning new things every day. He tells me about how he enjoys being at school. He reminds me of myself and I am scared for him because this system is going to change his love for knowledge. I am scared that he might lose his enthusiasm before he even turns 13.
There has been no revolution in our education system for many years. Rote learning is the old mantra on which this system is based.
The insulting and bossy behaviour of some teachers continues to make students hate school. Unfavorable competitions among students, unfair marking and most of all the social pressure are some of the issues that make the educational environment unbearable.
There is a dire need for serious action to be taken about these issues before they drive our generation further towards depression. Reports believe that most of the suicide attempts among our youth is due to exam pressure and result tension.
In a way, we are supporting this flawed system by keeping quiet about it and even if people do speak about changing it, there are no significant actions taken to tackle this problem. I hope that proper attention is given to this problem by the government and the society alike. Practical learning should be promoted; proper training of teachers to be more polite and encouraging towards students rather than making their morale low should be emphasized upon. Also, it is the duty of society to stop comparing children’s grades. All children are different, with their own minds. Parents need to understand that the dreams of their child/ren are as important as their own.
I hope no 13-year-olds again have to suffer from an anxiety attack during exam, but rather enjoy producing what they have learned.
