Dear Abused Girl,
Thanks for appreciating my column. It always makes me happy when I get positive feedback from my readers. As far as your problem is concerned, it is so unfortunate that you have abusive parents. Parents always protect their children from external danger, but it seems you are not safe in your own home. Domestic violence should not be tolerated in any form, whether it is against a woman or a child. Your parents think that they can get away with their harsh treatment as they don’t expect you to react. But little do they know that even a weak person can also stand up for his/her rights.
You should not be scared of your parents. They have been mentally and physically abusing you for so long and now it’s time for you to put your foot down against their unjust behaviour. For your own protection and safety, you must tell your relatives and college administration about your parents’ unfair treatment towards you. Once they are called to Principal’s office, they will have to mend their ways.
You can also lodge a complaint against your cruel parents (with the help of some relative) to CPLC. They have offices all over Karachi. Next time if your mother or father tries to hit you, call your grandparents, or if you have a kind aunt, move to her place temporarily until your parents realize their mistake. Tough situations call for tough actions. Good luck!
My mother is against girls who work
I am a 28-year-old bachelor. I belong to a middle class family. I have done MBA and am working in a multi-national bank. These days my mother is looking for a suitable girl for me.
Guru, my problem is that my mother is quite conservative and she is looking for a simple girl who can be a housewife. She does not like girls who work. According to her, they are not good homemakers.
Guru, there is a girl in my bank, S, I really like and I want to propose to her. We have a good understanding. She has been asking me to send my parents to her house but, Guru, I am too afraid of my mom to tell her about S. I know she will create a lot of fuss if she comes to know that S is a career-oriented girl. Guru, I really want to marry S but I also don’t want to hurt my mother’s feelings. How can I persuade her? I am in a fix.
Dear Mama’s Boy,
You are not a teenage boy. You are mature enough to make your own decisions. If you really like S and are serious about this relationship then you should talk to your mother about it. Yes, it won’t be easy for you to convince her in the first place, but I am sure she will come round once you sit with her and try to explain your point of view. You can tell her stories of career-oriented women - in your family or friends’ circle - who are also good wives and mothers. Also tell her how much you love S. And, hopefully, your mother will change her views about working women once she brings S to her home as her daughter-in-law. Good luck!
The Dead One,
Thanks for writing to me again. I am glad I was able to help. After reading your letter, I have come to the conclusion that you need professional help. You need to go to a psychologist who can listen to you calmly and guide you accordingly. Actually, you are experiencing extreme guilt and anxiety and if you keep on blaming yourself for not living up to your parents’ expectation, you may fall into severe depression. You need to understand that one’s mental health is also very important; over thinking is affecting you negatively. So, instead of worrying, just think about what you can do best. You have to come out of your shell and do something about it. Forget, what has happened in the past. Now, just focus on yourself and your own happiness. Good luck!