It was the final exam for an English course at a university. Like most freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students.
Final exam
It was the final exam for an English course at a university. Like most freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students.
The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
Thirty minutes into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked for an exam booklet.
“You’re not going to have time to finish this,” the professor stated as he handed the student a booklet.
“Yes, I will,” replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the students filed up and handed in their exams, except the late student who continued writing. Half an hour later, he finally came up to the professor’s desk and attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets.
“No, you don’t. I am not going to accept that. It’s late!”
The student looked incredulous and angry. “Do you know who I am?”
“No, as a matter of fact, I don’t,” replied the professor sarcastically.
“Do you know who I am?” the student asked again.
“No, and I don’t care,” replied the professor with an air of superiority.
“Good!” replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
Johnny can count
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers yet.
“Yes, teacher,” he said, “my dad taught me.”
“Good, Johnny! Tell me what comes after two,” the teacher said.
“Three,” replied little Johnny.
“Very good! What comes after five, Johnny?” asked the teacher.
“Six,” answered little Johnny.
“Excellent! Your dad did a very good job. Now, what comes after ten?” the teacher asked.
“A Jack!” replied little Johnny.
Spelling drills
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell “before”. He stands up and says, “B-E-P-H-O-R.”
The teacher says, “No, that’s wrong. Can anyone else spell before?”
Another little boy stands up and says, “B-E-F-O-O-R.”
Again the teacher says, “No, that’s wrong.”
The teacher says, “Leroy, can you spell before?”
Leroy stands up and says, “B-E-F-O-R-E.”
“Excellent, Leroy! Now, can you use it in a sentence?”
Leroy says, “That’s easy. Two plus two be fore.”
Compiled by Usama Rasheed
