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COMIC RELIEF

By Usama Rasheed
Fri, 07, 17

A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found Bob.

A gullible manCOMIC RELIEF

A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found Bob.

“I think this one will really move,” said the broker. “It’s only $1 a share.”

“Buy me 1000 shares,” said Bob.

The next day the stock was at $2.

Bob called the broker and said, “You were right, get me another 5000 shares.”

The next day when Bob checked in the paper, the stock was at $4. He ran to the phone and called the broker, “Get me 10,000 more shares!”

“Great!” said the broker.

The next day Bob looked in the paper and the stock was now selling for $10 a share. With all his purchases, Bob had made over $100,000 in just four days.

Excited, Bob called the broker and said, “Sell all my shares! I want to cash out.”

The broker replied, “I would, but to whom? You were the only one buying that stock.”

 

An avid golferCOMIC RELIEF

A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured that if he hurried and played very fast, he would get 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old man to join him.

To his surprise, the old man played fairly quickly. He didn’t hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn’t waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, “You know, when I was your age, I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground, not a foot from where it had originally laid.

The old man offered one more comment, “Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only three-feet tall.”

Another way of sayingCOMIC RELIEF

A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.

After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. “Okay,” he said, “I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is not made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

 COMIC RELIEF

Compiled by Usama Rasheed