The preacher, in his sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject.
A lucky woman
The preacher, in his sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject.
After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands.
Not satisfied, he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent.
Still unsatisfied, he lectured for another 15 minutes and repeated his question.
With all thoughts now on dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the rear.
“Mrs Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any.”
“Mrs Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?”
“Ninety-three.”
“Mrs Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person can live to be ninety-three, and not have an enemy in the world.”
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly turned around and said:
“It’s easy, I just outlived them all.”
Sounds like a great idea
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the good old days.
Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses.
One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?”
“Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied.
“Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked.
The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
A team full of dumb players
A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked at his star player and said: “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?”
The player thought for a moment and then he answered: “I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?”
“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: “Come on coach, give him another chance!”
