I am a 20-year-old boy. I belong to a well-known family. I study in one of the prestigious boarding schools of Pakistan.
I cannot imagine my life without her
Salam Guru,
I am a 20-year-old boy. I belong to a well-known family. I study in one of the prestigious boarding schools of Pakistan. I endorse you for the way you solve problems and help others by using your wisdom. And I am sure you are going to solve my problem, too. Actually, for the past two years, I have been in love with a beautiful girl, A, and she loves me too. I am really serious about her. But the problem is that her mother wants to marry her off as soon as possible and she has started looking for a suitor. A is not in a position to take a stand against her mother, who raised her kids single-handedly. Few years back, her father died in a fatal accident, so all the responsibilities fell on her mother. A has two younger brothers, and one elder sister who got married at the age of 20, and now it is her turn. Guru, A is my first and last love, and I cannot imagine my life without her. My father always supports me in difficult matters. Should I tell my father about this? Before making any decision, I want your opinion because you are my last hope! I am really depressed. I don’t want to lose her at any cost.
True Lover
Dear True Lover,
Usually, in our society, girls get married between the age of 20 and 25, and you cannot really blame A’s mother if she is looking for a suitable match for her daughter. Being a single parent, she is more cautious and aware of her responsibility. So, instead of getting worried and depressed, it’s better if you talk to your father about it. It seems like you have friendly terms with him, and I am sure he will support you. I know you are too young to get married at 20 but, at least, the two of you can get engaged and then can tie the knot when you complete your education. I think that’s the best way to secure your love. But it’s not that easy. First you have to persuade your parents and then you have to persuade A’s mother that you will keep her daughter happy. Here, A also has to take a stand for you in front of her mother, so that she knows what her daughter wants. If the two of you don’t muster courage now, then you will never be able to live together. Good luck!
I want to get married
Dear Guru,
I am a 29-year-old girl. I belong to a middle-class family. I have done graduation and am working in a private organisation as a private secretary. I have two elder sisters and two elder brothers. All of them are married and they are all happy with their families. My parents died a few years ago and there is no one who is concerned about me. Guru, I want to settle down but my siblings are not bothered as they all are busy with their own lives. I live with my married brothers, their wives and children. They are apparently nice to me as I am not a burden on them, but now I want to settle down and want to have my own family. There is this colleague of mine, H, who is interested in me and wants to marry me. I also like him but he is three years younger to me. He says that he doesn’t care about this age difference. But Guru, I am reluctant; what will people say? I don’t want to become a laughing stock in front of my family. He wants to send the proposal next month. Should I say yes? I am so confused. What if my brothers reject the proposal?
Single Girl
Dear Single Girl,
When people don’t care about you, then why are you getting worried about what they say. People only criticize and they will criticize you in any case. So, don’t give a hoot about people and society and do whatever you like. You are an adult and independent woman and you have every right to make your own decision. And three years is a negligible difference and it’s perfectly fine to get married to a man who is few years younger than you. It’s actually no big deal. As far as your family is concerned, I am sorry to say but your siblings seem quite selfish. And when your own brothers are not interested in your marriage, then they have no right to object. This is your life and you have the right to stay happy. H loves you and he wants to marry you, so don’t break his heart and accept his proposal. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to settle down. Good luck!
