A man in Pakistan calls his son in London the day before Eid and says, ‘I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.’
THE IDEA WORKED
A man in Pakistan calls his son in London the day before Eid and says, ‘I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.’
‘Dad, what are you talking about?’ the son screams.
‘We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,’ the father says.
‘We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.’
Franticly, the son calls his sister who explodes on the phone, ‘Like hell, they’re getting divorced!’ she shouts. ‘I’ll take care of this!’
She calls Pakistan immediately, and screams at her father, ‘You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing! Do you hear me?’
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife, ‘Sorted! They’re coming for Eid, and they’re paying their own way.’
Poor Thomas!
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, ‘Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?’
Thomas replied, ‘Actually, I’ve found many women whom I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.’
His friend thinks for a moment and says, ‘I’ve got the perfect solution; just find a girl who’s just like your mother.’
A few months later, they meet again and his friend says, ‘Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?’
With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, ‘Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right; my mother liked her very much.’
The friend said, ‘Then what’s the problem?’
Thomas replied, ‘My father doesn’t like her.’
The man is absolutely right
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water. But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I’m referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea!’
The man lowered his head and said, ‘Wedding cake.’
