I am a 21-year-old girl. I did my graduation last year and these days I am working as a junior executive in the client service department of a well known advertising agency in Karachi.
Should I marry him?
Dear Guru,
I am a 21-year-old girl. I did my graduation last year and these days I am working as a junior executive in the client service department of a well known advertising agency in Karachi. I belong to a middle class educated family where women and men are treated equally. My parents are broad-minded and they have given us freedom to choose our paths. Guru, recently something has happened due to which I am really upset and need your sound advice in this regard. Actually, I have got a really nice proposal and my parents have left the decision to me - whether to accept this proposal or not. He is very good looking and educated. Also, he is well-settled and I have heard good things about him like he is in favour of women liberation, etc. But the only hitch is his conservative family. They are not modern in their views and women in their families wear proper dupattas and chaddars. I think it will be hard for me to follow their rules as our lifestyle is totally different from them. I don’t want to say ‘no’ as I really like the guy, but I am reluctant in saying ‘yes’ because of his family set up. What should I do?
Confused Gal
Dear Confused Gal,
When one is getting married, one can choose a suitable partner but it’s next to impossible to find the boy’s family according to one’s choice too. Sometimes you get ideal in-laws but your luck does not match in case of your husband, and you end up having a miserable married life. I have seen so many modern girls who got married in strict or conservative families but they were able to survive because of their husbands’ support and love. Remember, the initial period of marriage is always difficult whether you get married in a modern family or a conservative one, or whether it’s an arranged or love marriage; you have to make adjustments and compromises. The guy looks fine to me. Since your parents have given you a free hand, I suggest you meet the guy and discuss your apprehensions with him. I am sure he will give you all his support and you will also get to know whether he is strong enough to give you a lifestyle that you are used to or not. Don’t judge your in-laws; they may not be modern but when you start living with them, you may find them loving and caring. Now, the final decision is in your hands. Good luck!
She has broken my heart
Salam Guru,
I am a 19-year-old boy. I am studying in a co-ed business school. I belong to an elite family. I happen to be smart and funny and I’m quite popular among girls. Let me confess to you that I am also a flirt. I have changed three girlfriends in three years. But recently, I have a serious crush on my class fellow, R. She is a new student in my class. Her father is a colonel in the army, and they have recently moved to Karachi from Islamabad. R is very beautiful and she also looks interested in befriending me. However, one of my best friends has told me that she is involved with her cousin and they are both engaged, too. Though R has never exposed her feelings, I was pretty sure that I would be able to have a steady relationship with her. I am so upset. She has actually broken my heart. But I am the sort of a person who keeps trying. Guru, there is another class fellow of mine, B. She is also smart but not as pretty as R. She is very much interested in me. I have never given her much attention to date, but now I am thinking of considering her. What do you suggest?
Lover Boy
Dear Lover Boy,
I think you haven’t taken life seriously and you haven’t fallen in love either. You are a happy-go-lucky guy who believes in enjoying life. Well, there is no harm in enjoying life but you should also care about others’ feelings. Have you ever thought that you and R were not destined to be together? You have already hurt three innocent girls; I suggest that you go back to your ex-girlfriends and ask them for forgiveness. I am pretty sure they have gotten over you but at least you will not feel guilty. And there will be no burden on your heart. As for B who is interested in you, I advise you to be friends with her. But don’t give her high hopes or cheat her. You are still very young and you are not even sure what you actually want in life. Get seriously involved with the girl you are sure is the one for you. Good luck!
