Craig Deeley (@craiguito): "Yeah, we’re one of those annoying couples who finish each other’s...
COMIC RELIEF
* Hollie Harris (@allholls): A lady at my gym asked if I was sad that my kids were going back to school soon, and I responded that yes, I was sad, if by sad, she meant happy.
* Craig Deeley (@craiguito): "Yeah, we’re one of those annoying couples who finish each other’s...”
“...you’ve ruined my life”
* Alice Mills (@millsalice144): In Star Trek, they are always going where no one has gone before, but when they get there, somebody is always there.
* Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy): I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the Internet.
* Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix): I just want enough money to live comfortably and for my butlers and servants to also live comfortably.
* Jay (@JAYVERSACE): This too be shalling more than it be passing.
* Granite Man (@GraniteDhuine): Don't worry, everything will be okay, or it won't.
Definitely one of those two.
* Katie (@katefeetie): Keeping myself humble by remembering that no matter how smart I think I am, it’s still not smart enough to get off Twitter.
A lawyer was sitting in his office late one night when Satan appeared and offered him a deal.
“You can win every case you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make huge sums of money. All I want in exchange is your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and the souls of all your friends and law partners.”
The lawyer ponders this for a moment, then finally asks, “So, what’s the catch?”
“A true friend is someone that thinks you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer
