Horatio Quartzjixler (@Quartzjixler): Everyone is talking about the “conclave”...why isn’t anyone discussing the proclave?
* Horatio Quartzjixler (@Quartzjixler): Everyone is talking about the “conclave”...why isn’t anyone discussing the proclave? People for claves need a voice, too.
* My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad): Me: You happy that we are out alone today, no kids?
My wife: We’re at the ER.
Me: Oh sure, dwell on the negatives.
* Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl): “He’ll yes” is an insane thing for my iPhone to keep thinking I wanna say.
* Rosie (@exitsenses): I think I could probably get married right now. There’s no one else involved but I think I could make it work.
* Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): Billionaires will be like, “here’s my secret”:
1. 4:00am wake up
2. Ice cold shower
3. Dad owns billion dollar company
4. Meditate
* Brock (@Brock_Teee): Sorry, your honour, I was looking at Instagram, how many years again?
* Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould): I’m in a bad place (Twitter).
The doilies
A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents.
“When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me that the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.”
The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
“But what about all of this money?” he asked. “How did you manage to save all this money?”
“Oh,” she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies.”
“Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.” – Nora Ephron
