Guru, how can I solve this problem? I have started eating more to gain weight, but it is not working....
I am bullied at school
Dear Guru,
I am a 13-year-old student, and I am facing a big problem. I am bullied at school because I am very thin and not considered good-looking. Even my teachers sometimes call me ‘Skeleton’, thinking it’s a funny joke. I am also taller than most kids my age, and my classmates call me a ‘walking pole’. I don’t have any friends to talk to or spend time with, and I often go home crying because I feel very lonely. However, when I share this with my mother, she dismisses it, telling me I’m a big girl and shouldn’t act like a baby.
I just want people to accept me for who I am, but when my own family isn’t sympathetic, how can I expect others to be kind? I want to have friends and be accepted, but I don’t know how to make that happen. Things were fine until I was in grade five. After that, I had a sudden growth spurt and became very thin. When school reopened after summer break, my friends laughed at my appearance, and I snapped at them out of anger because their comments hurt me deeply. Looking back, I realize I could have handled the situation better, but I didn’t know how to express my feelings.
Guru, how can I solve this problem? I have started eating more to gain weight, but it is not working. I want to learn how to make friends and feel accepted, but I don’t know where to start.
Upset Teen
Dear Upset Teen,
I understand how difficult it must be for you to face bullying and feel isolated. It’s especially painful when those around you, including teachers and family, fail to realise what you are going through and offer the support you need. First, please know that your worth is not defined by your appearance or what others say about you. Being tall and thin is simply a part of who you are, and everyone grows and changes at their own pace. In time, you will put on weight, too. While it’s upsetting that your teachers and classmates make unkind comments, remember that their words reflect their own immaturity and insensitivity - not your value as a person.
To start addressing this, try to talk to your school counselor or a trusted teacher about the bullying. They can help mediate the situation by talking to those who are bullying you. As for your classmates, it’s understandable that you snapped at them, but it’s never too late to repair relationships. If you feel comfortable, you can calmly explain how their comments hurt you and ask them to stop. Often, people don’t realize the impact of their words until it’s pointed out to them.
At home, try to talk to your mother and explain how deeply this issue affects you. If she truly understands your pain, she might take your concerns more seriously and offer the emotional support you need.
Lastly, building friendships takes time, but starting with small acts of kindness and showing interest in others can help you connect with new people. Look for classmates who were your friends or who seem kind, and start talking to them. Start small, like greeting them in the beginning and maybe offering a candy as a friendly gesture. You don’t need to change who you are to win friends – just try to be pleasant to the people around you. You will not always remain thin, so eat healthily and avoid overeating, as it is bad for your health. Things will get better as you grow and meet new people who will see the amazing person you are.
Good luck
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