Jenni (@hashjenni): I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet....
* Jenni (@hashjenni): I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.
* Alexandra (@bigmoodenergy): I love joining a class action lawsuit. Hell yeah I’ve been wronged. Justice needs to be served. A surprise check for $26 in 6 years will make it right.
* Katrina Davis (@katrinasivad): My cat wanted attention, so he meowed at me and rolled over on the sofa, but he rolled the wrong way and fell off. Anyway, I get why people like cute idiots now.
* Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle): Train station: If you see something that doesn’t look right…
Me: (nothing looks right/things haven’t looked right since I was a child)
* Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau): I love the idea that liberals conspired to get Taylor Swift to date Travis Kelce and then rigged the playoffs because this somehow abstractly helps [Joe] Biden.
That’s where we shine. We can’t get free healthcare but perfectly execute a Riddler-esque conspiracy to ruin a football game.
Laugh lines
Psych 101
In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression.
She posed this question to her students: “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, “A football coach?”
Points to ponder
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).” – Mark Twain
