I am an 18-year-old girl from Karachi. I study in intermediate in a renowned college where mostly girls come from affluent families. I also belong to a well off family.
I feel embarrassed because of my father
Salaam Guru,
I am an 18-year-old girl from Karachi. I study in intermediate in a renowned college where mostly girls come from affluent families. I also belong to a well off family. We are altogether three siblings. My elder sister got married last year. I have one younger brother who is in grade 10. My mother is a housewife. My father is a tailor by profession. He earns very well. There is no financial problem and our father takes care of all our needs. He started working with his father from an early age since tailoring is his family profession. He worked very hard to give us all a very comfortable living.
He is an affectionate father but, Guru, there is a problem. My father is not that educated. He only passed intermediate. Well, my problem is that all my friends’ dads are highly educated - some are doctors, some are engineers, some hold important positions in government, some are CEOs of their companies. Now when they talk about their dads, I try to avoid the topic. I have told them that my father is in garment business and he is mostly out of the country on business tours. Guru, it’s not that I am less than any of my friends. I also wear designer clothes and go to fancy restaurants with my friends but when it comes to social status I cannot match them. I feel embarrassed to tell my friends what my father’s real occupation is. Sometimes, I also feel guilty. My birthday is coming in few weeks and this time my friends are insisting on coming over to my place instead of going to a restaurant. Guru, I am in an awkward position now. If I call my friends over, they will come to know about my father’s profession and if I don’t, then they will wonder why I am reluctant in calling them over. I am seriously in trouble. Please suggest me a way out.
Fake Girl
Dear Fake Girl,
I sympathise with you, young girl. You are trying too hard to keep up with the Joneses and in doing this you are losing your own identity. I fail to understand why you feel uncomfortable in telling your friends about your father’s profession? So what if your friends’ dads are highly educated? Your father is a highly skilled worker. He is hard working, creative and an honest man. No one should be ashamed of their professions as long as they work honestly. Your father is an honourable man; you should be proud of your father instead of feeling embarrassed. You should be grateful to him for giving you such a good life. Don’t you think he will be hurt if he comes to know about your thoughts? So, before it hurts anyone, tell your friends frankly about your father’s occupation. There is no point in hiding who you are. Why live in constant denial? I am sure your friends will appreciate your honesty and will forgive your lie. Always remember that fake people will be caught sooner or later in life. Once you reveal your father’s profession, it will be easier for you to live in peace without any mental agony. Good luck!
I want to become a lawyer
Dear Guru,
I am a 19-year-old boy. I belong to a middle class family. My father is one of the senior lawyers at the City Court. I have recently passed my FSC exam. Guru, I also want to become a good lawyer like my father. My father is supporting me but unfortunately my mother is against my decision. She wants me to become a doctor. To do this, I will have to study pre-medical, which will waste my two precious years. But my mother is not listening to me. According to her, she has had enough living with a lawyer (my father) as busy lawyers are notorious for not giving time to their families. I am in a fix. Becoming a lawyer is my dream. How should I persuade my mom? Please help.
Q.P
Dear Q.P,
They say a woman is the queen of her home. I think you need your father’s expertise in filing your case in your mother’s court. You have to prepare your case painstakingly and then sit with your mom when she is in a relaxed mood. Tell her how passionate you are about studying law. Your mother may have her own apprehensions but those apprehensions can only be removed by you. Be firm; try to convince your mother with logic, without being rude to her. Give her your promise that you will not neglect your family or home after becoming a lawyer. I am sure your mother will come round when she sees your passion and persistence. Good luck!
