I should leave him but Guru I am hopelessly in love with him. Do you think Z is sincere with me? What should I do?
Is he sincere with me?
Dear Guru,
I am 24 years old. I am a graduate and I work in a private firm. I belong to a middle-class family. I have been reading your column since I was in high school. Guru, my problem is related to my boss Z. He must be in his early 40s but he is very charming and has a pleasant personality. He treats me very kindly. Guru, I have developed feelings for him and he has also confessed his feelings for me. But the problem is that he is already married with two children. He says that he will divorce her. Guru, my friends who know about our clandestine affair suggest that I should leave him but Guru I am hopelessly in love with him. Do you think Z is sincere with me? What should I do?
Girl in Love
Dear Girl in Love,
It seems to me that you are impressed by your boss because of his position and power and not for any other reason. So, don’t confuse this with love; it’s just an infatuation. Your friends are right – do not get emotionally involved with him. He is a clever man who is having a good time at your expense. He will never marry you and even if he is not happy with his wife, it has nothing to do with you. Let him handle his wife and family matters. You have to open your eyes, girl. The guy is not sincere with you. And why do you want to have an affair with a married man in the first place? What’s the point of snatching some one’s husband or father? Also, you also cannot ignore the age difference. You are in your 20s whereas he is in his 40s. When you are in your 40s, he’ll be in his 60s and will turn into a cranky old man. Would you like to live with a cranky old man? Please think practically and find someone who is single and of your age group. Try to distance yourself from your boss slowly and gradually. Good luck!
I am so depressed
Hello Guru,
I am a great fan of your column. I am 22 years old. I work in a bank. I belong to a middle-class family. Guru, I had an affair with my colleague ‘P’. When he confessed his love to me, I couldn’t resist and said yes as he was so handsome. I used to tell everything to my best friend ‘Q’ (who is also my colleague). I really trusted her but she ditched me and snatched my boyfriend. When I got to know this, I broke up with P and also with Q.
It has been eight months and the problem is I cannot avoid P since we both work in the same office. He has approached me many times to patch up but I am deeply hurt. Q resigned from her job few months back so thankfully I don’t have to see her face. According to P, he has left Q and he has realised his mistake but I cannot trust him again. I have started taken anti-depressants. Though P betrayed me, I can’t stop thinking about him. Guru, help me get out of this situation.
Lost in Love
Dear Lost in Love,
You need to understand that P is not worth giving a second chance. What Q did with you was ethically and morally wrong but what P did was equally bad. Had he been sincere with you, he would not have got involved with your friend. It’s good that you have broken up with him. Don’t feel depressed because of P. He never deserved you. You seem like a sweet girl and you ought to have someone better who can value your sentiments. So, stop crying girl and look at the positive side. You have learnt two big lessons at such a young age: never trust your boyfriend blindly and never share your deep secrets with your best buddy! Try to engage yourself in healthy activities. You are too young to take anti-depressants. Good luck!
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