I am a 14-year-old girl studying in Grade IX in a prestigious co-ed school. I belong....
I am petite
Dear Guru,
I am a 14-year-old girl studying in Grade IX in a prestigious co-ed school. I belong to a middle class family. I happen to be a good student and my teachers seem to like me a lot. However, despite all my qualities I am not a popular girl among my class fellows. Actually, Guru, I am the shortest girl in my class. All my class fellows are tall. They make fun of me and call me an “ant”. Nobody wants to befriend me. They don’t even invite me to play with them and when they do, they run as fast as they can and challenge me to catch them.
Guru, their callous attitude towards me hurts me a lot. I have become very quiet. I don’t know how to deal with my arrogant class fellows. I cannot discuss my problem with my family as they will never understand the kind of mental agony I go through. Guru, is it my fault I am petite? Should I change my school? Please suggest me something.
Little Girl
Dear Little Girl,
Sadly, in this material world one is normally judged on one’s physical appearance rather than one’s intellect. It is a way of the world where cruel people make fun of not-so-perfect ones. You should not pay heed to others. Count your blessings. You are blessed with good health and there is no deficiency or physical impairment in you. You are a normal person with a sound mind. You are quite a likable girl; see, you are a favourite in your family, which speaks a lot about your character. So, what if you have short height? There is nothing wrong with that. Actually, your class fellows are very shallow and they lack basic manners. Let them call you “ant”, you can call them “monsters”. The point is that they take undue advantage of your humbleness. They know you have a complex about your height, so they deliberately exploit your weakness. If you maintain your cool and act indifferent they will eventually stop teasing you. I will not suggest that you change your school; wherever you go, you will face insensitive people. Girl, be bold and face your class fellows. Take it in your stride. You know your capabilities. Remember, height is secondary; it’s your character which makes you tall among others. Good luck!
I am in a fix
Hello Guru,
I have been reading your column since I was in my teens. I am 25 years old now. I have done my MBA and am working in a multi-national. Now that I am settled, my mother wants me to get married. I am also ready. Since I don’t have a girl friend I have left my marriage decision to my parents. My mother wants me to marry her niece who lives in London. Her mother wants me to settle in England once we get married.
Honestly Guru, I am reluctant in leaving my country and my father is also against this proposal. So there is a kind of rift going on between my parents over my marriage issue. My father wants me to stay here whereas my mother thinks it will be good for my future as my in-laws are very well-connected in England.
Guru, I am in a fix. I don’t want to hurt my mother’s feelings but at the same time I am not willing to settle abroad (and be a “ghar-damaad”). I don’t have any feelings for my cousin as I hardly know her. She is a pretty girl, but I want to marry someone who understands me. Please do tell me what to do as my parents are forcing me to make a quick decision.
Eligible Bachelor
Dear Eligible Bachelor,
Sometimes, others make your life just too complicated, and if you want to make your life easier for you then take your own decision. See, the final decision is yours, so without any further delay just tell your parents how you actually feel about the whole issue. Sit with your parents and tell them politely but firmly that you are not comfortable with the idea of going abroad to settle down as a “ghar damad”. Try to deal with the situation diplomatically. Tell them that you do not want to leave them alone. I am sure both your parents will understand your point of view.
Secondly, instead of relying on your parents’ choice totally to find a match for you, it’s better if you find a girl of your choice. See, if you want to have a peaceful and happy life after marriage, it is very important to have a like minded and understanding partner. Good luck!
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