I wish I could just disappear. I miss my dad so much. I want him back, but I know that might never happen....
No one cares about me
Dear Guru,
I am a 12-year-old girl from a broken family. My father went abroad three years ago and never returned. He hasn’t died - he just disappeared, and there’s been no sign of him since. I miss him terribly. My mother misses him too, and to cope with her sadness, she started working in a school. My brothers are always on the computer, and my sister stays in her room. I feel completely alone.
No one seems to care about me, even though I try to be a loving and kind child. Lately, I’ve started behaving badly without even meaning to, and I get scolded almost every minute of the day. I feel so hurt and unwanted that sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I miss my dad so much. I want him back, but I know that might never happen.
Please, Guru, help me. I don’t know what to do.
Broken Child
Dear Broken Child,
I’m truly sorry you’re feeling this way. What you are going through is very painful, and it’s completely understandable to feel sad, angry or confused. When someone we love disappears from our life, especially without explanation, it leaves behind a big empty space in our heart. You are not alone in feeling this way, and it’s brave of you to reach out for help.
First, please remember this: your feelings matter. You are not bad or ill-mannered; you're hurting, and you're reacting to that hurt. You're still a loving child, and you deserve to be seen, heard and loved. Even if your family members seem distant right now, it might not mean they don’t care. They may just be struggling with their own pain in ways they don’t know how to express.
If you can, talk to your mother. Tell her how lonely you feel. She might not realise how deeply this is affecting you. If talking to her is too hard, perhaps you can write her a letter. Also, consider speaking to your siblings. You don’t have to carry this pain alone.
Though your father may not return, healing is still possible. You still have your mother and siblings, who probably see you as too young to fully feel the pain of your father's absence. Once they realise how deeply it affects you, they will do what they can to help you feel safe and loved.
Good luck!
I am in a complicated situation
Dear Guru,
I am a 23-year-old man. I have completed a BS in Information Technology from a local university and am currently working at a private organisation in Karachi, earning a good salary.
Guru, my problem is that I have been in love with a girl for the past two years. She is now putting pressure on me to marry her. However, I need my father’s approval, and he is insisting that I marry my cousin. Guru, I don’t like my cousin and I do not wish to marry her. Despite repeated efforts, I have been unable to convince my father otherwise.
On the other hand, the girl I love is growing increasingly impatient. She has even made alarming statements, saying she will take poison if I don’t marry her soon. This has left me feeling deeply confused and emotionally distressed.
There is one more important detail I must share: she is a divorced woman. Her husband has given her a divorce verbally, so according to religious law she is no longer married. However, the divorce has not yet been registered in court, and she needs my support in filing the necessary legal documents to formalise it.
Guru, I am truly torn and don’t know what to do. Please help!
Guy in Distress
Dear Guy in Distress,
You are facing a very sensitive situation, and it’s important to approach it with caution, emotional clarity and responsibility. First and foremost, reassure the girl that harming herself is not a solution and that such threats only worsen an already difficult situation. Encourage her to prioritise finalising her legal divorce through proper channels, with or without your immediate involvement. This is essential not only for her own protection but also to avoid legal complications in the future.
At the same time, respectfully continue speaking with your father. Help him understand that forced marriages often lead to unhappiness, and that your choice is based on genuine feelings. If possible, try to get support from your mother and other family members who can talk to your father and try to change his mind. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and you deserve to make that decision based on mutual love and respect, not fear or pressure. Take a bit of time to think things through with a calm mind, ensuring that your decision honours both your family and your commitment to the girl you are in love with.
Good luck!
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