COMIC RELIEF

* Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline.

* Silence is the best answer for a fool.

* The salt on this food is enough to kill an earthworm.

* You’re not glowing, honey; you’re basically bathed in oil.

* If you could smell you, you wouldn’t be friends with you.

* I know I make stupid choices, but you’re the worst of all my choices.

* You’ve been trying to get your summer body since two winters ago.

* Serial killers would run mad if they tried to make you a victim.

* Why can’t you be like other rom-com friends? You’re not supportive.

* Why can’t you be like other rom-com friends? If you added any more weight, the elevator wouldn’t move.

Falling asleep

After driving for about 16 hours a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while.

As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab.

“Can you tell me the time, please?” asks a jogger.

“Yeah, it’s 4:30,” answers the trucker.

He falls asleep again, but is awoken by another jogger who wants to know the time.

“It’s 4:40!” yells the trucker.

Deciding to really try to sleep a little, he writes on a piece of paper “I don’t know the time” and sticks it in his windshield.

He is awoken again.

“It’s 5:25!” another jogger yells at him.