Guru, am I a sissy guy? How should I deal with my male colleagues?
Looking for love
Salam Guru,
I am a 21-year-old graduate girl. I belong to a middle-class family. Last year, I got engaged to M who lives in Jeddah, Saudi Arab. M is 30 years old and he is an engineer by profession. M is my father’s best friend’s son so when his family came with his proposal, my parents did not hesitate in saying yes as they know the family. We are supposed to get married early next year. M is a decent guy and is quite good looking, too, and I kind of like him. But Guru, there is a hitch, M is not at all romantic. He hasn’t given me a single love card or flowers since we got engaged. Even our engagement ceremony was very simple. My in-laws came with an engagement ring and that was that. In January this year M came from Saudi Arabia for 15 days and I got to see him only once at a family dinner. He did not show any desire to see me alone. We are connected via net and he occasionally calls me but his calls are very casual. However, my in-laws are nice people and I have cordial relations with them. I feel very sad when my other friends tell me how romantic their respective fiancés are. Guru, I am a very beautiful girl but I feel that M does not find me attractive enough. I have asked my fiancé if he was forced to get engaged to me, and he denied it. He said he is happy with the engagement. But Guru, I am not satisfied. I am very depressed. Please help.
Upset Fairy
Dear Upset Fairy,
There is nothing to worry about, my dear. You are apprehensive about M’s casual attitude towards you, but you need to understand that it’s an arranged engagement in which you cannot expect M to be romantically involved with you. Don’t fret if M doesn’t show affection towards you. What matters is that he gives you respect. He knows that you two are going to tie the knot soon, so he is not in a rush. Maybe he is the reserved type and finds it hard to open up with you before marriage. Maybe you will get to see his romantic side after you get married. So, don’t harbour negative thoughts in your mind. You are lucky that you are marrying into a decent family. Try to see the positive points in your fiancé. Don’t compare him with others, as competition will leave you unhappy and confused. Just concentrate on your own happiness. Good luck!
Am I a sissy guy?
Dear Guru,
I am a 25-year-old man. I have been reading your column since I was in college. Now, I work in an advertising agency. I am quite handsome and happen to be a happy-go-lucky type, so girls enjoy my company and I also feel more comfortable with them. Maybe it is due to the fact that I have been raised in a predominantly female environment. I am the only brother of my three sisters and my two unmarried aunts live with us. All my female cousins are close to me and share their secrets with me. Guru, my male colleagues make fun of me. They think I am a sissy guy, however, this is not the case. I am perfectly normal; it’s just that I have more female friends. In fact, I am in love with a very pretty girl, and I am going to propose to her soon. She understands me and has no problem with me having female friends. But sometimes nasty comments of my male colleagues make me upset. Guru, am I a sissy guy? How should I deal with my male colleagues?
Sissy Guy
Dear Sissy Guy,
Generally, boys who are brought up in a female-oriented environment tend to be closer to women than men and you are no exception. You should not be worried or upset because some male colleagues of yours make fun of you. They call you sissy because in their heart of hearts they are jealous as all girls are comfortable with you. And they are comfortable with you as you are a gentleman; no wonder they confide in you. For me, it is something positive; you are far better than all those machos out there who have no compassion for women and who treat women as if they are their slaves. So, don’t pay heed to your male colleagues’ nasty comments and just ignore them. This is the best thing you can do to save yourself from any kind of mental agony. What is more important is that your girlfriend understands you and that’s all that matters. Stay happy. Good luck!
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