A group of psychiatrists was attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave....
A group of psychiatrists was attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together.
One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.”
The others agreed.
Then one said, “Since we are all professionals, why don’t we take some time right now to hear each other out?”
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed, “I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients.”
The second psychiatrist said, “I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want.”
The third followed with, “I’m involved in selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me.”
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, “I know I’m not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t keep a secret.”
The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting the country’s armed services. So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 fighter jet, a pair of twin brothers walked up to them.
The chief of staff stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, “Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?”
The young man looked at him and said, “I’m a pilot.”
The general got all excited, turned to his aide and said, “Get him in today, all the paperwork done, everything, do it!” The aide hustled the young man off.
The general looked at the second young man and asked, “What skills can you bring to the Air Force?”
The young man said, “I chop wood.”
“Son,” the general replied, “we don’t need wood choppers in the Air Force, this is the 20th century!”
“Well,” the young man said, “you hired my brother!”
“Of course, we did,” said the general, “he’s a pilot!”
The young man rolled his eyes and said, “You’re not getting it. I have to chop it before he can pile it!”
Compiled by Usama Rasheed
