Our parents are against us
Dear Guru,
I am a 20-year-old girl. I belong to a middle class family. My problem is that I want to marry my boyfriend. We have been dating for many years and I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to settle down. I want to marry him and have a family. Guru, my parents are quite conservative, so they are totally against the idea of me getting married to someone I love. However, his parents had no objection to our union and they were willing to accept me as their daughter-in-law. They came to our house with the proposal but, unfortunately, my mother insulted his mother and they left in a rage. I know it was my parents’ fault; they should not have insulted his parents, but the situation was beyond my control. Now, his parents have made this an ego issue and have strictly told my boyfriend that he should forget me. I am very scared. My boyfriend’s mother is setting him up with his cousin. We both love each other. My boyfriend thinks that we should elope. Guru, what do you suggest? Should we just elope since both our parents are unwilling? His parents have rejected me and my parents have rejected him. Do we have a choice? I am very tensed. I cannot imagine my life without him.
Scared Lover
Dear Sacred Lover,
I can understand your dilemma. You are facing a tough situation. Well, you are mature and you have a right to choose a partner with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. It’s so unfortunate that both your parents and your boyfriend’s parents are against this match. Since your parents have already insulted his parents, there are slim chances that his parents will again come to your house with the proposal. So, the conventional manner of getting married seems difficult. But eloping is not the right way. I would not suggest that you do that. I think your boyfriend should muster some courage and talk to your parents directly. You have to think realistically. If you choose to elope, you both will have to abandon your families and you will face many difficulties once you enter practical life. And how long can both of you live without your parents and other relatives? You see, family is also very important. I know right now you both are very emotional, but try to be sensible. Your boyfriend should not get engaged to his cousin. He has to take a stand for you. If he truly loves you, he should tell his parents point blank that if he cannot marry you, he will not marry any other girl. You should also wait for him till he is financially stable. Then, after few years, you both can try again to persuade your parents. If they still show rigidness then you both can go for court marriage. It’s a more decent way than eloping. Good luck!
I want to lose weight
Salam Guru,
I am a regular reader of your column. I love the way you solve teenagers’ problems. Guru, I am in trouble and I really need your help. My issue is my weight. I am a bit overweight and I want to lose the excess weight fast. Actually, my sister is getting married in November and I want to look good in her wedding. It’s already April, so I only have few months’ time in order to shed those extra pounds. Guru, I want to wear all those fancy dresses, but if I am fat how will I look stunning? So I desperately want to lose weight in six months’ time. And I am also lazy, so it’s difficult for me to exercise. Please help.
Girl in Trouble
Dear Girl in Trouble
You are desperate to lose weight but you are not ready to work out. Well, dear you cannot have your cake and eat it too. If you really want to look good on your sister’s wedding, you have to stop eating junk food and avoid cold drinks at all cost. With a balanced diet and a bit of exercise, I am sure you will be able to achieve desired results. Don’t go for rigid exercises if you don’t like it. Just try to be more active. Walking is a good exercise, as well as a tried and tested formula; walk daily for at least 20 to 30 minutes.
Instead of hogging, eat in small portions. Give your stomach some rest and adopt a more active lifestyle. I am sure if you carefully watch your eating habits and walk regularly, you will look gorgeous on your sister’s wedding. Good luck!
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