Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues): As a kid I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever....
Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues): As a kid I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever.
As an adult I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.
Rick Aaron (@RickAaron): Why make a shopping list when I can just walk around the grocery store muttering “milkcheeseDoritostortillasKleenex” like a mental patient?
Meghan (@deloisivete): OK, time to simplify our lives. *starts hoarding books on minimalism*
Emily (@emily_tweets): Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want their shirt to catch on a door handle.
Shannon (@gardengirl125): I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.
Cali (@calidaysay): Tried counting sheep, but now I'm emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.
Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): *holding the bright screen displaying every bad thing in the world happening all at once three inches from my face*
“Why can’t I sleep?”
...if she had a book about Pavlov’s dog.
She said it rang a bell.
...if I could borrow a book about Schrödinger’s cat.
She did not know if it was there or not.
...where the books on paranoia are.
She whispered, “they are right behind you.”
... for a book about El Dorado.
She said it was lost.
...if there is a book on cardiology.
She said it’s in circulation.
…why the book on abdominal pain wasn’t
there anymore.
She said someone had ripped out the appendix.
…where the library kept books about Bigfoot.
She said to look in the large-print section.
… if they had a book on how to write in
cursive.
She said it is currently out of print.
…where the self-help section was in
the library.
She wouldn’t tell me.
…for a book on cliffhangers.
She said…
“God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind that I will never die.” – Bill Watterson