1) Making sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
2) Duct tape heals all wounds. If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for a while.
3) Showers become less important.
4) Sleep becomes more important.
5) Recycling becomes synonymous with laundry (“Oh, my jeans can last until Eid...there’s only a *little* bit of mud on them...”).
6) If the lecture hall is long enough, get someone else’s notes.
7) Your bill in the bookstore almost equals your tuition.
8) You realise many people are smarter than you.
9) You realize many people are dumber than you.
10) Texting becomes a contact sport.
11) Pop a vitamin and breakfast is covered.
12) You never thought you would share so much about yourself with people you have known for such a short time.
13) You hear more stupid nicknames than you ever thought.
14) People still cheat. It has just become more technologically advanced.
15) You get really good with excuses for skipping the class.
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, “There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer; or that’s Michael; he’s a doctor.”
A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled.”
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help.
One day during recess, she noticed a boy standing by himself on one side of a playing field, while the rest of the kids were enjoying a game of football.
Sandy approached and asked if he was all right.
The boy said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.
Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”
The boy hesitated, and then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”
“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”
