Letters!

Dear Professor Nadine,

I am a 21-year-old girl, currently doing masters in International Relations from a renowned university of Lahore. My problem might be trivial because even my best friend thinks that I am an adult and should be able to cope with it. The thing is that one of my courses was taught to us by a young and very good looking foreign qualified teacher. The male students in our class don’t like him; they think he is too sweet with girls, but all the females are crazy about him. Honestly speaking, I’ve never found him being unfair to any of the students. He is an honest teacher. He appointed me as the class representative, so I had to meet him very often in his office. He gave me his number in case I needed to call him about the class. Like my other class fellows, I also was attracted to him, so as an excuse, I called him up and we talked for about two hours. After that, we started caking each other, and became very friendly. With the passage of time, this relationship turned into a strong bond of friendship. I got to know that he talks to other girls as well, which really made me feel bad, but I didn’t ask him because he never said he had any feelings for me. Then he invited me out and well we became...sort of physical. I was embarrassed although I did not go all the way, but he convinced me that we had not done anything wrong. After that, we met outside three more times and he tried to convince me to be in a physical relationship, but when I refused, he stopped taking my calls. He still calls me but only if he wants to tell something important to the class, or if he wants me to announce assignments and quizzes. Otherwise, he ignores me completely.

His attitude is getting on my nerves, and I feel very upset nowadays. I can’t sleep well and am not able to concentrate on my studies. I don’t know what he is up to. Please help me out, as this situation is driving me mad.

A Depressed Soul

Dear Depressed Soul,

It’s very clear that this very good looking teacher was trying to take advantage of you, but when you didn’t give him what he wanted, he dropped you. He has still not given up, though. He has retained you as class representative because it gives him a valid excuse to remain in touch with you. He ignores you on purpose; I think he is trying to pressurise you, as he wants you to succumb to this pressure. My dear, your friend is absolutely right; you are an adult and can deal with this problem. You know he is not in love with you and is involved with other girls as well. This means he just wants you as a pastime. So, instead of feeling blue, thank God for saving you from him, and take it as a lesson. You have had a bad experience, but don’t let it destroy your peace of mind. Surviving difficult times can make one stronger, too. You must find the strength to face him with confidence and make him believe you are not interested in him anymore. Concentrate on your studies, and try to spend time with friends and family to take your mind off him. If possible, change your course so you don’t have to deal with him anymore. Best of luck!