opinion
Why children do not listen. I wanted to phrase that as a question and then decided to phrase it like a statement, for it is a harsh truth that is faced by teachers, school management, parents and all those who come within the ambit of dealing with these youngsters. In the mid-20th century, this phenomenon gained ground, giving way to psychological perspectives in pedagogy and parenting. Later in the century, disobedience and noncompliance became blended with hippieism, socialism and communism - all tagged under rebels - making us lament a strong-willed child with as much apathy as a socialist. A simple answer to the query is that children do not listen because they are not being heard.
Quaerere, inquisition or query is a simple act wherein our senses are guided by a prompt to gain deeper insight. Similarly, the etymology of the word ‘why’ comes from the Old English hwi, indicating ‘for what purpose’ or ‘by what means’. It may be an innocuous word but it demands justification for whatever (or whomever) is on the receiving end.
Instead of celebrating this simple act, which is a profound illustration of the entire anthropological evolution, any being that challenged a system or questioned it faced a wall - a wall of disapproval, with brows upturned and a smirk curving the lips most arrogantly. They were told to conform, usually without logic validating the reason. The grounds for compliance were either blanketed in theological discourse or hierarchical traditions.
Questioning was historically the thinkers’ job. Socrates or Descartes - sceptical enquiry became best encased in Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum (I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am). These men, who made it their passion to question and prod cognitive juices, stood apart. They were sages, learned people, published authors, political leaders, court advisors - and by virtue of their elevated status in the limelight, though not favourable all the time, distinguished. But somehow, by the middle of the 20th century, this responsibility was equitably shared by the young, school-going adolescent and now it seems to be a behaviour of any child who is old enough to walk and speak.
A recent session with students in a uniquely characterised community in Karachi focused on questioning and Socratic thinking. This gave rise to strong feedback about repeated backlash and discrimination in their respective institutions. Students were being penalised, physically reprimanded, thrown out of class and marked down on assignments - all because they dared to question. Many of them stated that the same was true at home. Somehow, the community and society at large are discriminating against the questioning learner. The young minds that had moved towards the wisdom of questioning were confronted by mature individuals who had been conditioned to take on the role of the proverbial wall.
Paulo Freire, in his seminal work ‘Pedagogy of the Oppressed’, criticises what he terms the ‘banking model’ of education. Piaget and Erikson explained cognitive development and I loved Erikson’s ‘initiative vs. guilt’ stage - which stated, “Conditioning ourselves to feel guilty when curious.” Dewey’s democratic approach to education may have offered a potential solution when he advocated for learning environments where questioning is not just permitted but encouraged as a means of developing democratic citizens. Writing in ‘Democracy and Education’, he claimed that we do not learn from experience... we learn from reflecting on experience. And reflection is, of course, a questioning filter that examines and analyses any given experience.
But all this can be pushed to one side as uncompromising theoretical discourse that can work wonderfully given the idealistic framework. For me, more inspirational examples come from the authors who sit on my side tables and bookshelves, peeking from or hiding behind the leather covers - stories that break through time barriers like a swift Millennium Falcon (please see Star Wars) - and take us straight towards resolutions. Whether it was Alice in Lewis Carroll’s classic, or Scout of Harper Lee or Jane of Charlotte Brontë; these girls had some sharp takes on the world and worked through questions that covered intellectual and moral grounds. Roark of Ayn Rand stands as my David of characters. He rebelled and made his work the ‘questions’ that needed to be answered.
One doesn’t need to be a Sherlock of Arthur Conan Doyle to be celebrated for questioning -society needs to get rid of this fear of not being able to combat the intelligence of the younger, wiser or different. The security comes through recognising our purpose. Once we know our purpose, all questions become a reason to take the next step or turn.
When children question, process it, take time, celebrate not knowing and search together for a possible answer. And if your enhanced wisdom shows you a good response, share it with pronounced mischief and excitement, to keep the curiosity in young minds alive. After all, neither poor nor perfect answers exist and good ones can always be improved.
The writer is a content strategist, educationist, researcher and a corporate host. She can be reached at shaha.jamshed@gmail.com
