How to build a trauma informed care kit

BITS 'N' PIECES

Isn’t strange that if we find ourselves on the brink of bursting into tears at work or school, often a bathroom is the only place to retreat to?

What if we carved out spaces – both physically and culturally – to take mental health breaks and curated those spaces with care and intention?

If you have the privilege to steward a space that other people study, work, play, or rest in, consider using this illustration as a road map to supplying that space with comforting, grounding objects that support kids’ and adults’ capacity to return and regulate after getting very upset.

Here is what you can have in your kit …

• Expressive art supplies
• Snacks (crunchy or sour can be extra grounding)
• Soft cuddly stuffed things
• Objects interesting to hold and look at
• Cards and notes with kind messages to open and read
• A soft fuzzy blanket
• Puzzle or calming problem-solving game
• Pictures (of outdoors, pets or safe people)
• Card deck of grounding techniques
• Books, music and safe distractions
• Blank journal for processing
• Supplies for gentle yoga and mindful movement

How to comfort someone

1. Acknowledge their feelings

“I hear you…It seems like you’re upset because…I know that this is a hard time for you… I know that you’re hurting…”

To start comforting someone, acknowledge and describe what you see, hear, and feel.

2. Repeat their feelings

“Of course, you’re upset; I was also upset when … happened to me.”

Affirm their feelings using the same emotion-infused word they use (e.g., disappointed, heartbroken, etc.).

Sometimes, past personal experiences allow us to show that we can relate.

3. Draw their emotions out

“Tell me what happened… How did that make you feel?”

More often than not, people just want to be heard.

By asking them how something made them feel, you’ll elicit a response from them.

It is not about what they felt, but it’s how they felt so you can gain deeper meanings of their world.

4. Don’t minimize their pain

Don’t focus only on cheering them up.

People find it hard to focus on the future when in the present time, they’re in pain.

5. Be there for them, right at that moment

When they burst into tears, if you react with: “don’t cry…”, “you’ll feel better”, or “cheer up”, it’ll come across as trying to trivialize what they are feeling.

6. Offer physical affection, when appropriate

If they don’t want to talk, they might not be ready to share.

In that case, and only if appropriate, give him/her a hug.

Physical affection should match the level of love you show regularly.

If you’ve never hugged this person, then perhaps a hand on their shoulder would suffice.

7. Express your support

Let your friend know that you care and that you’re sorry for what they’re going through is very important.

Even if they feel better after talking to you, keep reaffirming your support and let them know that you are there for them.

8. Tell them they’re special

We all feel good knowing we are that special person to someone. Let your friend know how much they mean to you.