I am so confused
Salam Guru,
I am a 16-year-old girl. I am a regular reader of your column. I am a student of O-Levels. I belong to a well-off family. I have one younger brother who is 12 years old. My father is a businessman whereas my mother is a socialite. My parents take care of our needs and have given us a comfortable life but they are never around us. My father is always occupied with his work whereas my mom is always busy attending social events. My brother and I are usually home after our school with our nanny and servants. Actually, my problem is related to my tuition teacher who comes to teach my brother and me in evenings. He is a very good teacher. He has been teaching us for two years but since the past few months I have started to feel uneasy in his presence. He hasn’t done anything objectionable so far but the way he looks at me makes me feel very uncomfortable. He is not lecherous but sometimes his comments like, ‘you are looking so pretty today’, do not sound complimentary to me. On my birthday he gave me a birthday card with a heart on it. Guru, do you think I should talk to my mom about this? I am afraid of talking to her as she will not believe me. Besides, he is a dedicated teacher and my brother and I are getting good grades. I am very confused. Should I remain silent or should I speak up? What should I do?
Timid Girl
Dear Timid Girl,
Sometimes your vibes tell you about the impending danger. Sometimes your instincts are enough to tell you to beware. And most of the times our instincts are right. So, my dear, if you are not feeling comfortable with your teacher then it’s time for you to speak up rather than suffer in silence. Fine, he hasn’t made any advances towards you but he is quite capable of doing so if you remain quiet. Don’t fret, talk to your mother about him. I know as a mother she will understand your feelings and fear. You can show her the card he gave you on your birthday. It’s pretty obvious that he has questionable intentions towards you. Don’t worry about your studies. You will find some other able teacher. Meanwhile, tell your nanny to sit beside you while you are studying.
Good luck!
She is not the right girl for my brother
Dear Guru,
I am a 21-year-old university going girl. I am from a middle-class family. I have an older brother, M, and I am very close to him. He is 25 years old and works for a multi-national. He is very handsome and has a pleasant personality. These days we are looking for a suitable girl for him. Of late, I have come to know that my brother is having an affair with one of his colleagues, B. Actually, B’s younger sister, K, is my best friend and I got to know about this affair through her. Though B is a charming and smart girl I don’t want my brother to marry her. Guru, ours is a conservative family and B’s family is way too modern. I don’t think she will adjust in our home environment. Secondly, B was engaged in the past and broke her engagement so that she could marry my brother. Guru, I cannot accept such a fast girl as my bhabi. My brother has told my mom about B. She is a simple woman so she has no objection to this match, but I am really worried for my brother. I just want to tell my brother that B is not the right girl for him. How can I persuade him?
Concerned Sister
Dear Concerned Sister,
You don’t need to worry so much about your brother’s prospective wife. First, you need to understand that you are talking about his life, not yours. Your brother has the right to choose his own life partner. He seems like a sensible person who knows what’s best for him. Don’t make her broken engagement an issue. If she could break her engagement for your brother, she can adjust in your home environment, too, for her love. You should not judge her and should keep your brother’s happiness in mind, instead. If he is happy with B then you should not have any problem in accepting B as your bhabi. I suggest you welcome B with open arms instead of being apprehensive about her. Good luck!
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