Lesson from 2020

By Amna Ameer
Fri, 01, 21

You have to find your own joy without guilt and let the world find their own way in their pursuit of happiness...

1. It is not your job to keep everyone happy

As much cliched as it sounds, once you start pleasing people it is difficult to step away. It seems that you are somehow responsible for their contentment. But you aren't. The sooner you realise the better. You are responsible for your own happiness. You deserve to be happy on your own without worrying about what others are feeling. You should unapologetically be true to yourself and unconditionally embrace happiness. You have to find your own joy without guilt and let the world find their own way in their pursuit of happiness.

2. You cannot let toxic people control your life

It may seem impossible to detach yourself from toxic people that keep draining your energy and your will to be happy and productive. But each time you give in and surrender, remember you're letting them win. They don't deserve that at all. It is best to acknowledge the presence of a toxic person in your life.

To consciously disengage and steer your life in the direction you want it to be. It isn't wise to not follow your dreams or express yourself in fear that it will offend a toxic person or instigate their insecurity. Their behaviour is representative of their flaws. And that shouldn't stop you from anything.

3. You are only responsible for your deeds

It is human nature to question someone's actions and intent. Somehow you think that since you are a certain way, others may be too. But no two souls are the same, and so we cannot dwell in such thoughts and dilemmas. If something isn't as you would've done it, owe yourself the privilege to not feel obligated to explain their intent.

4. What people think of you is not in your control

There will be people in your life that will hate your very existence. That will be offended without reason. That will look for flaws in you. And there's nothing you can do about it. They have a set impression of you in their minds and they'll rarely change it. You cannot control why they feel a certain way about you. And there's no way you can justify it. Knowing this you can find peace in the fact that their hate is a manifestation of their own insecurities.

5. Sometimes you have plans but life has other plans and that's okay

Just because one thing didn't go your way don't give up. There may be more opportunities waiting for you. Life and time and loss work in strange ways. As soon as you realise this reality life becomes so much easier. There's more room for feasibility and spontaneity. And may be that's all that is needed to achieve your dream.

6. Failures are humbling

It is okay to fall down. There's no perfect way to live life. You make mistakes. You take risks. You try to do your best but sometimes the best isn't enough. But it is through knowing this reality about life you can make room for failures. To be able to still believe in your abilities to achieve something. Albeit it may seem impossible at the time but the humility of trying is in knowing that true failure is to not try at all.

7. You have the right to celebrate every little success

Life is about little moments and trivial things that seem too small to notice but remain everlasting in the heart and mind. And it is important to celebrate the little things in life. To be able to make to work on time. To enjoy a warm meal. To sleep in on a cold evening. To watch the clear winter sky. To bask in the sunlight on dry grass. It is through these small things can we make way for bigger successes in life which only matter as long as the heart is full of wholesome moments just as these.

8. There's no one more worthy of your love than you

You need to go easy on yourself. Even on days when it seems that nothing is right and there's no way to bring yourself in terms with the life you've chosen for yourself. Tell yourself that you've done the best you could in the hardest of circumstances. Give yourself the love and care you would otherwise offer to the world. Make space for gratitude for the things you own and hold on to them to remind yourself the things that make you worthy. Worthy of your love. Your kindness. Your understanding. Your forgiveness. Give yourself the second chances you offer the world. Only so you can start anew every time the earth once again revolves around the sun.