I want to live in peace
I am a young teenage girl and I absolutely love reading your advice column. My problem is my brother. He is two years older than me and he is very mean. I know older brothers are irritating but he is getting on my nerves. He has a severe attitude problem. He is selfish and just wants everything for himself. He does not care about my feelings and treats me badly. I am not at all happy with him. My parents are cool about his attitude and think he will get better.
Guru, I am now sick and tired of his bullying. Actually my parents are among those who prefer boys over girls and my brother is totally spoiled. Well, I have good friends around me who make me happy. They have supportive and caring elder brothers whereas I am stuck up with a narcissist. I cannot tolerate this anymore. I want to live in peace. Please help.
Dear Unhappy Girl,
This is so sad that your parents are not fair towards you. But dear, you have to swallow this bitter reality that your parents favour your older brother. So, at the moment, all you can do is stay patient. Count your blessings - you are attending a good school, you have no financial issues, you have a family and even if your parents take your brother’s side they also take care of your needs. They also love you. So don’t feel bad.
Secondly, you have to ignore your brother’s rude behaviour and try to concentrate on your own happiness. Remember, your peace of mind is in your own hands.
You are lucky to have good friends in your life. They should be your strength. When you are home, try to ignore your brother as much as you can. Just focus on your studies and try to maintain distance from him. I am sure he will mend his ways with the passage of time. Good luck!
I don’t know if he is coming back
I am a great fan of your column and I really like the way you solve youngsters’ problems. I am a 23-year-old girl from Lahore. Actually I have been in love with a guy R for two years. We used to chat and call but never met in reality. He loved me as much as I loved him. We both knew about each other’s families and were pretty comfortable with each other.
But recently Guru, I have noticed a change in him. He doesn’t reply me the way he used to; doesn’t talk to me the usual way and sometimes doesn’t come online for days. I don’t know what he is up to. He promised to marry me but now I feel like he was just passing his time. But sometimes when I rethink all of it, I think maybe it’s his nature of job that keeps him busy. I am so confused. I don’t know what to do. I still love him so much. Please help me.
Dear Suppressed Emoji,
You seem like a sensible girl and you should have known by now that R is actually not interested in you anymore. You are not a teenage girl who cannot comprehend what’s going on. Actually you are still in love with R and when a person is in love, it is very difficult for him/her to accept the reality.
R’s strange behaviour clearly indicates that he doesn’t want to keep a romantic relationship with you any longer. Girl, wake up and think practically. Had he been serious with you, he would have proposed to you long time back. Still if you are confused, then talk to him. You can’t afford to live your life in assumptions; so for your own mental peace, you need to sort this out once and for all. Good luck!
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