Twenty-sixth year of becoming

By Amna Ameer
Fri, 01, 20

One of these days you have to move away from your family, too. It will be the most painful thing you know.....


Looking back, I realise this year has been the most life altering as yet. As I try to taste the first few weeks of the 27th year that have settled comfortably over my skin as though it always planned to stay, I make a list of lessons that I have gathered over this time.

Lesson number 1

Sometimes life requires that our family members grow up and move away. We hope and pray they make it through this new adventure that awaits them while at the same time we realise how difficult it is to let go of a place they called home for a significant time of their lives. But know that as long as they are happy and content in their life, life’s serendipity will see you through, too.

Lesson number 2

One of these days you have to move away from your family, too. It will be the most painful thing you know. Some days it will feel like your heart being ripped and beating outside your chest. You try your hardest to make things stay the same way. You want your room to smell the same, your family’s warm hugs when you need the most, the inside jokes, how the food used to taste. When each breath feels so laborous and you find yourself in a vacuum of abandonment, know that all it takes is time. This too shall pass if you let it.

Lesson number 3

Change is critical to life. Nothing and no one can survive without it. Day in and day out we are constantly transitioning from one reality into another. It is understandable when it feels like each moment is devoured by the fear of the unknown because that likely is how it is. We do not know where this change might take us. But make it a mission and a conscious effort to always plant positive thoughts to wake up every morning. Trust the journey.

Lesson number 4

Creating new relationships is hard work. You better roll up sleeves and get to work. It would take self restraint, practice patience and a lot of love to bring harmony in between two minds and hearts. Telepathy isn’t real, so communication is key. As long as you share your feelings with your partner, know when you can be vulnerable with them and truly try to understand their point of view and support them; can you create an oasis for yourself you can retreat to after a hectic day.

Lesson number 5

There is nothing like the importance of self love. The minute you realise your self worth, can you influence people by your personality. Even your relationships will feel more worthwhile if you try to introspect inside yourself and tackle one issue at a time. What is it that you are neglecting? Are you giving yourself enough time? Is your health okay? Do you feel validated by yourself and your loved ones? Are you happy?

Lesson number 6

Learn to let go, when to retreat, when to stop fighting and be okay with “just working on yourself”. When the red flags are up, don’t push it. Don’t try to fake it. Listen to your heart, keep your mental health in check. Talk to someone you can share it all with. Give longer hugs. Say meaningful things. Avoid conflict at all cost. Burn down the negative vices and nurture kindness. And most importantly start with yourself.