I am not contributing towards household income then at least I should save money for my marriage expenditure as these days weddings cost a lot....
Girls just want to have fun
Salam Guru,
I am a 24-year-old girl. I am a commerce graduate and work in a multi-national company as junior executive. I belong to a middle class but modern family. Guru, I happen to be very beautiful and my colleagues just adore me. They really admire my dress sense and my taste. I also take care of my looks and I spend more than half of my salary on my clothes, shoes and other make up accessories. Both my parents are working, and don’t need my salary. I have been working for three years but I haven’t saved a penny. I frequently go out with my friends, which is usually Dutch; everyone pays for their own food or cinema ticket. Guru, I am quite content with my life but my mother has issues with me. She thinks I am a spendthrift and am not taking my life seriously. She wants me to study further so that I can have a bright future. But, I am not very career oriented. My mother is also worried about my marriage; she says that when I am not contributing towards household income then at least I should save money for my marriage expenditure as these days weddings cost a lot. Honestly speaking, I do not agree with my mom. I believe in living for today. Who has seen tomorrow? I am totally a diehard fan of Cyndi Lauper’s famous song ‘Girls just want to have fun’. As far as marriage is concerned, it is not in my agenda at the moment. One of my colleagues H really likes me. I am also fond of him. But we are just good friends. My mother has also told me indirectly to talk to H about sending his proposal for me. How can I make my mom understand that we are only good friends? Please, Guru, tell me who is right – my mother or I?
Happy-go-Lucky Girl
Dear Happy-go-Lucky-Girl,
I really like happy-go-lucky people as they don’t take extra tensions in their life and remain happy in their own cocoon. It’s a wonderful trait, my dear, and there is no harm in enjoying life. But at the same time, you just cannot ignore reality. To a certain extent you are right but if you look from your mother’s perspective, you will realize that she is 100 percent right. She is sincere with you and is concerned about you. This is your age to make good use of your time. I am not saying stop having fun, life is not all about fun. It has its ups and down too. Right now, you are single and living with your parents, so you are tension-free as you have no idea about actual expenses and responsibilities. Your mother is sensible; don’t ignore her advice. Saving is a good habit. Don’t spend all your salary; try to save at least 40 percent every month. Even putting a small amount aside every month can make a real difference over the long term. Read about successful nations and people, and you will come to know that they all have been into the habit of saving. So, be a little serious about your life. Well, as far as H is concerned, I think here your mom needs to understand that you two are good friends only. You will have to persuade her to give you more time. Tell her that you will get married when the time is right. Good luck!
He has left me
Dear Guru,
I am a regular reader of your column. I am an 18-year-old college going girl. I belong to a middle class family. My problem is that recently I have broken up with my boyfriend. After losing him, I feel lonely. I have no friends. He was my only companion. But he thought I was cheating on him and he left me. Now what do I do? I feel so lonely and depressed.
Dejected Lover
Dear Dejected Lover,
You don’t need to feel so disheartened, my dear. You are still so young and there is so much to do in life. Breakups are a part of growing up. So just take it in your stride. May be he just needed an excuse to leave you and he blamed you for having an affair. Your conscience is clear so don’t waste your precious tears after that loser. It’s not sensible to waste your life for one person. Think about your family. They all love and care about you so live for them and stop thinking about that loser. Try to start afresh and make new friends. Just remember that people come and go, but life goes on. Good luck!
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