I cannot trust anyone
I am an 18-year-old girl from Nowshehra. I am from a well off family. I was a happy-go-lucky girl. I was enjoying life – going out with friends, watching movies, etc. But everything changed two years ago when my parents learned about my clandestine affair. They were really upset that I broke their trust. Since then they have put restrictions on me.
Guru, actually I was deeply involved with someone but he cheated on me and dumped me and on top of that my family got to know about it. So you can imagine my situation. I am hurt and at the same time I feel guilty for deceiving my family. The last two years have been very painful.
Slowly and gradually, I am coming to terms with the reality and my family members have also mellowed down but the truth is I cannot trust anyone ever again in my life. I am very depressed and don’t know what to do with my life. Please help.
Victim of Love
Dear Victim of Love,
I can understand your situation but what is done cannot be undone. You have broken your parents’ trust and once the trust has gone it’s very difficult to regain it. The good part is that they have mellowed down, but I think it will take you few more years to reestablish your relationship with them. But what worries me more is your mental health. Dear, I know you lost your family’s respect, but it wasn’t entirely your fault. You were very young and vulnerable at that time. So don’t feel guilty. This is life and sometimes bad things happen to good people. Thank God, the guy did not harm you any other way.
You are depressed today but I am sure with the passage of time you will recover. Give yourself some time. Focus on your studies; try to take interest in life. One cannot stop driving after a bad accident!
Don’t lose hope. If there are bad guys, there are good guys, too. If you don’t want to trust anyone now, don’t! But in the long run, you have to start trusting people to live a normal life. Just believe in the goodness of nature and don’t think negatively otherwise life will become unbearable for you. Good luck!
I cannot live without her
I am a 25-year-old guy. I am a graduate and am working in a private organization. I have been reading Us magazine and your column since I was in college but I never thought that one day I would write to you about my own problem. Actually, I have been in love with a girl for many years now and we were very serious about each other. I even proposed to her but my proposal was rejected on the grounds that I was not earning well.
Last year her parents forced her into an arranged marriage with a well-settled guy. Guru, I am in deep depression. It’s being a year but I haven’t come to terms with the fact that she is married now. I still love her and want her back in my life. I am such a loser. What should I do? A Loser
I can imagine your agony! But, dear, she is married now. There is nothing you can do about it. It’s better to accept the reality rather than living in illusions. Marriage is a huge commitment and she is committed now.
I advise you to start afresh and try to walk towards the path of recovery. Don’t go into depression. Have a positive outlook towards life. At least you have this satisfaction that you tried your best and even proposed to her. So don’t feel bad. Maybe she was not in your destiny and God must have something great planned out for you in the future.
Distract yourself with constructive activities, and keep yourself busy as drowning yourself in her memories will never let you get over her. Hang out with friends, concentrate on yourself work goals, exercise, take interest in sports, and watch movies and start reading books. She has started a new life and so should you. Good luck!
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