I want to study
I am an 18-year-old girl from a small town in Sindh. I have finished my Intermediate. I have been a very good student and I want to continue my studies but the problem is I belong to a very conservative family where there is no concept of higher education for girls. All the girls in our family have only studied till Grade X. I am the only one who finished Intermediate.
Guru, I really want to complete my graduation but unfortunately there is no degree college for women in our town. My mamu (uncle) lives in Karachi. He is quite progressive and he is in favour of educating girls. He has offered me stay with him and study further. My mother has no objection to it but it is my father who is not giving me permission. He wants me to get married to his matriculate nephew, who runs a grocery shop. He earns pretty well and is good looking, but I want to marry an educated guy; matriculation isn’t enough.
Guru, please tell me what I should do. How can I persuade my father to let me go to Karachi and do my bachelors?
Girl in Doldrums
Dear Girl in Doldrums,
“When you educate a boy, you educate an individual, but when you educate a girl, you educate a nation.”
Unfortunately, people still don’t give importance to girls’ education which is imperative for a society’s progress. It is sad that your father is stopping you from getting higher education. I actually don’t blame your father as he is an old-fashioned man and has been conditioned to believe that girls shouldn’t get education.
However, you should not lose heart. It is good to know that you are interested in getting education and your uncle is willing to help you. I think you should go for this.
As far as getting permission is concerned, I think you should ask your uncle to persuade your father. Your uncle seems like a wise man and I am sure he will be able to convince him.
And, stay firm on the issue of marriage. No one can force you to marry against your will. Take your mom in confidence and ask her to talk to your father on this issue when he is in a good mood. I hope your father will come round. Good luck!
She has used me
I have been reading your column since my teen years and am really inspired by your way of solving problems. I am a 24-year-old guy. I am a graduate and work in a private organization as an account executive.
I keep hearing that boys are liars and cheat on girls but my experience is entirely different. I have been a victim of love. Guru, actually I was madly in love with my colleague M. When I joined the office two years ago, she was already working there as a receptionist. I began to like her and she also showed her interest in me and in no time we were together.
I wanted to marry her despite knowing that she was from a different sect. When I proposed to her, she turned down my proposal saying that she wasn’t interested in getting married to me. I was shocked and hurt. Then I learned she was a flirt. She liked me, she used me and when it was time for a serious commitment, she just backed out. Now, she has stopped talking to me and is seeing some guy who is apparently very rich.
Guru, I am very depressed. I was so honest and sincere with her and she ditched me. Tell me what I should do now.
Dear Dejected D,
Come on, young man. You don’t need to feel depressed. I can understand your emotions but there is nothing to feel gloomy about. It is all part of growing up and gaining maturity. The world is full of all kinds of people. If boys are liars and cheaters then girls are liars and cheaters, too. Such experiences in life always teach you valuable lessons. Now you have learnt your lesson; it’s about time you move on in life. Believe me, she did not deserve a nice man like you. It’s her loss, not yours. Just leave everything to God; she will also learn her lesson eventually. Those who hurt others, never stay happy in the long run. So, cheer up and just forget her. Good luck!
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