US

COMIC RELIEF

US
By Usama Rasheed
Fri, 04, 19

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Questions you hope your pupils won’t ask you


  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of its bottle?
  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
  • If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
  • If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
  • If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
  • How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
  • You know how most packages say, “Open here?” What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else?”
  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
  • What do you plant to grow a seedless watermelon?
  • When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Seven rabbits

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven.

Teacher: No, listen carefully again! If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven.

Teacher: Let’s try this another way! If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?

Paddy: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven.

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?

Paddy: I’ve already got one rabbit at home.

Compiled by Usama Rasheed