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By US Desk
Fri, 03, 19

Despite knowing you cater to very young people, I take this liberty to share my problem with you......

I have feelings for my sister-in-law

Dear Guru,

Despite knowing you cater to very young people, I take this liberty to share my problem with you. I am a 33-year-old married man with a kid. I belong to an average middle-class family. I am doing a private job at a good post and earn enough to have a comfortable life. I got married six years ago and recently I have been blessed with a baby. My wife is very loving and I have a smooth married life but there is conflict in my mind. Actually, the problem is that of late, I have developed feelings for my sister-in-law. We have always been good friends and talk about everything under the sun. We really enjoy each other’s company. We have mental compatibility and have so many similarities. She is unmarried and a year older to me. She is quite frank and talks openly with me. Whenever I meet her I think she is the one. I want to disclose my feelings to her but I am afraid of her reaction as I am a married man with a baby. She is clueless of my intentions. What should I do? I cannot resist her. Please advice.

Advice Seeker

Dear Advice Seeker,

You are a 33-year-old married man with a kid. Do you think this kind of immature attitude suits you? You have a good job and a settled life and on top of that a dedicated and loving wife. Apparently you don’t have any financial or emotional problem in your life. I just fail to understand why you have inappropriate feelings for your sister-in-law. These relationships are very delicate and sweet and demand respect, not otherwise. Your sister-in-law is close to you as she treats you as a family member, not as a lover. You need to understand that. If she enjoys your company or is frank with you, it does not mean she is interested in you. It’s good that you haven’t disclosed your feelings to her. Have you ever thought about the repercussions of your irresponsible behaviour? What if your wife comes to know about your cruel intentions? Have you considered her? She will be badly hurt and it may affect your married life. And I am sure your sister-in-law will also not like it. By revealing your feelings, you will lose respect in her eyes. So instead of jeopardising your married life and respect, it is better if you control your feelings. Good luck!

I adore my teacher

Salaam Guru,

I am currently in my final year of university. I have a very great teacher who is not only amazing at teaching but also an awesome person in general. I have been trying to get closer to her since she started teaching us last year but somehow we can never get past formal, academic discussions. I just want to be close friends with her. At first I thought it is because she is reserved but lately I’ve seen her laughing like a normal person with other students and it hurts me because I have been trying so hard to get her attention, but she is always reserved with me. I don’t know how pathetic this sounds, but I feel like I might be a little obsessed with her. I daydream conversations with her, I long to spend time with her. She means a lot to me. When I’m in university, all I want to do is talk to her, but every time I do, it’s awkward and uncomfortable. I want to stop thinking about her but I can’t, and at the same time this is not getting anywhere. Please help.

Lonely Girl

Dear Lonely Girl,

At young age students do get inspired by their teachers because of their charismatic personalities. There is nothing wrong in liking your teacher and adoring her for her teaching skills. But you shouldn’t go beyond that. You see, besides being a teacher, she is a human being too with her own personal likes and dislikes. She may like you as a student but she may not like to be your friend. So sweetie, there is nothing to be upset about. You cannot force or pressurise anyone to be your friend or become close to you, unless the other person wants it too. Friendship is always a two-way traffic. And there is no reason for you to feel jealous if she talks to others in a friendly manner. Thinking too much about your teacher is not a good sign. The best way to come out of your teacher’s spell is to make friends who can reciprocate your friendship. Try to view your teacher only as a teacher. Do not praise her to the point of worship. It is not healthy. Try to enjoy with your own fellow students. Good luck!

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