This might be a handy advice, but unfortunately, not a realistic one.....
HEALTHWISE
“Don’t commit suicide just because you’re depressed or sad. Many people have been in worse situations than yours.”
This might be a handy advice, but unfortunately, not a realistic one.
What people miss is that depression can kill! What you need to instil in your minds is the fact that it is as dangerous as diabetes or hypertension!
Even psychologists and psychiatrists find it difficult to treat depression because there is no single universal treatment.
While feeling low and sad is normal, depression isn’t!
People who have been through even a phase of depression are familiar with how dark and vicious a spiral of self-consumption is.
The worst part is that the person who is actually experiencing it is not in a state to control these feelings of utter despair or melancholy he is in.
That person loses interest in whatever used to give him/her joy, for example, worship, work, and recreation activities. They might be so fond of going out with friends but now wouldn’t put a step out and shun all contacts. They have issues sleeping. They feel emotionally detached from loved ones but cannot help it.
Actual people who suffer from the mental illness describe it as having “constant voice in my head, like an enemy, making a non-stop monologue of negativity...the evil voice urging me to end my life”.
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Is suicide my only liberation?
“We are not asking the right questions and so we aren’t getting the right answers!”
Our opening argument is: suicide is haram (forbidden). Period.
No alternate justification above the strong condemnation of this act in Islam. So we attribute it to cowardice on part of someone who couldn’t fight for himself!
Well let’s try looking at it from various angles and see where the problem stems from.
One explanation of why mostly youngsters attempt suicide as pointed out on medical forums is the attention they get. Stories of unrequited love, academic failures, and conflicts with parents are common. Then we have celebrities who commit suicide at the peak of their careers; their fame and luxurious lives make it sound highly tempting, heroic and weirdly sensational for people idolizing these celebrities.
Another major reason is substance abuse. Drugs and alcohol cloud one’s ability of judgment, making them act rashly.
Genetic predisposition, financial burdens, broken families, sexual abuse and harassment, self-distortion, etc. are other reasons.
Above all, it is denial of a problem that ends in a tragedy.
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As previously pointed, it is important to understand that while depression and other mental illnesses are beyond one’s control and one is not responsible for this state, nonetheless you can work on it and that’s under your control.
Here is a list of tips I have compiled from different sources and reckon highly effective:
1. Have faith that bad times don’t last forever and suicide isn’t the answer to the problem.
2. You are not flawed or weak, just temporarily unable to cope with the magnitude of the problem at the moment. Your trusted loved ones, professional counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists will help you look for solutions.
3. Self-pity makes you weak. Don’t overthink about how lonely and helpless you are. There are always people around to reach out to.
4. Avoid being alone and seek professional help to quit drug and substance abuse. This clears up your thinking ability and irrational behaviour while under influence of the drugs.
Suicide is not your liberation. It is not the only answer to your problems. It doesn’t glorify you. You just can’t quit on life and the opportunities it brings and miss out on all the goodness and fun, because you met a failure or temporarily lost someone or something. You can - and will - win one day soon! If you are badly wounded today, you will be healed tomorrow.
1. Know that you are needed, and appreciated, even if it seems you are not.
2. Listen.
3. Never say “pull yourself together” or “cheer up” unless you’re also going to provide detailed, foolproof instructions. (Tough love doesn’t work. Turns out that just gold old “love” is enough.)
4. Appreciate that it is an illness. Things will be said that aren’t meant.
5. Educate yourself. Understand, above all, that what might seem easy to you - going to a shop, for instance - might be an impossible challenge for a depressive.
6. Don’t take anything personally, any more than you would take someone suffering with the flu or chronic fatigue syndrome or arthritis personally. None of this is your fault.
7. Be patient. Understand it isn’t going to be easy. Depression ebbs and flows and moves up and down. It doesn’t stay still. Do not take one happy/bad movement as proof of recovery/relapse. Play the long game.
8. Meet them where they are. Ask what you can do. The main thing you can do is just be there.
9. Relieve any work/life pressure if that is doable.
10. Where possible, don’t make the depressive feel weirder than they already feel. Three days on the sofa? Haven’t opened the curtains? Crying over difficult decisions, like which pair of socks to wear? So what. No biggie. There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet.
Excerpt taken from Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig
