How to be a more patient person

My jaw clenches when advertisement videos buffer. I huff and puff when stuck in a sluggish line at a coffee shop. Slow cars in the fast lane send me into a curse-filled tizzy. I’m ashamed how quickly I lose my cool over these minor things. I’ve often wished I could be a more patient person, but it’s overwhelming to know where to start.

Patience, the ability to keep calm in the face of disappointment, distress or suffering, is worth cultivating. The virtue is associated with a variety of positive health outcomes, such as reducing depression and other negative emotions.

Researchers have also concluded that patient people exhibit more prosocial behaviors like empathy, and were more likely to display generosity and compassion.

Impatience is the “fight” component of the fight-or-flight response. That’s why you’re honking at people or annoyed in the line or whatever it is you’re doing that’s your impatient behavior.

Figure out which situations set you off - careless drivers, technological glitches, slow-moving cashiers, etc. - and you’re already on your way to taking control.

The idea is to take a step back from the situation and try to look at it as objectively as you can. Is waiting in this long line inconvenient? Sure, but be realistic and practical: It will soon pass, and, in all likelihood, you’ll forget it ever happened.

Next, spend a beat thinking about the worst-case scenario. What’s the actual consequence of standing in line at the bank another 10 minutes or restarting a finicky device? Do any of these outcomes constitute a life-or-death threat?

Almost always, always, always, no is the answer.

Thinking about how patience ties into your larger sense of integrity and poise will make it a whole lot easier to stick with practicing it on a daily basis and building up those skills.

Stop trying to master one skill

Instead of focusing your efforts on becoming singularly great at one specific skill or task, you should strive to get proficient at a few related skills that can be woven together into a wider skill set that does make you singularly good at your profession or some general life ability.

Think about your career development and where you are on your journey right now. Have you been hyper-focused on cultivating one skill as a path to success? Or have you strategically tried to build a web of interconnected skills you’re decent at that build on each other to make you exceptionally, but broadly, good?

Let’s say you want to make a living writing novels. Yes, it’s crucial that you become a good writer. But it’s entirely unnecessary for you to become a great writer. The world is full of successful novelists (and, ahem, newsletter writers) with perfectly average writing chops. But in addition to being a strong writer, most successful novelists also need to be competent marketers, publicists, negotiators, public speakers, S.E.O. experts and more.

Compiled by Usama Rasheed