A doctor, a lawyer, a little Boy Scout and an old man were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane.
Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down.
Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they should jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said, "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, "I'm the smartest man in the world, and I deserve to live." He grabbed a parachute and jumped, too.
The old man looked at the little Boy Scout and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
The little Boy Scout handed the parachute back to the old man and said, "Not to worry, uncle! The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my backpack."
A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother.
The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning.
Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter, are you there?"
The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandmother, is that you?"
"Yes, granddaughter, it's me!"
"It's really, really you, grandmother?" the woman repeats.
"Yes, it's really me, granddaughter!"
The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?"
"Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me!"
The woman pauses for a moment, "Grandmother, I have just one question for you."
"Anything, my child?"
"Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?"
Compiled by Usama Rasheed