Ramazan confessions

TIGHT SPOT

Some of us break our roza wittingly and some unwittingly, and then there are some who fast against their parents’ orders... Us takes a look

‘My family is like super duper religious and very strict about fasts. Come hell or high water, we were not allowed to miss our roza, whatever might the reason be. I remember, some years back, I had my exams during Ramazan. People think it’s easier to fast during winter as the roza is shorter. What they don’t realize is that cold weather also takes its toll. One feels hungry after studying for an hour or so as the brain needs glucose to work! So, I decided to hoodwink my very strict family. I got up with everyone and had paratha and omelette for sehri. Then, I snagged some dates and nuts from the table (my family believes a handful of mixed nuts and three dates will keep hunger pangs at bay till Iftaar) and discreetly placed them in my pocket. Next, I grabbed a water bottle and announced I would spend the 15 minutes before Fajr in my room as I needed to offer tahajud nawafil. Nobody suspected foul play; in fact, my mother was very happy that I was finally up to offering tahajud prayers. Well, everything worked like a charm, but the thing was that I felt hungrier than I normally did when I actually fasted. The nuts sustained me till noon, after which I started feeling hungry and thirsty. Imagine my chagrin when I came back from college, all the while thinking of the water bottle on my side table and found it gone. The overzealous maid took the water bottle from my room when she came in to tidy it up. The heck of it was I could not even ask her why she did it!

Anyway, emboldened by the success of this exploit, I decided to ‘do more’ to make my day more tolerable. After iftar, when everyone left for their room to offer prayers, I grabbed a couple of rolls and samosas and two scrumptious pastries from the table. My family has this habit of having a second round after maghrib prayers, so I had to be quick. I took my booty to my room and hid it in the drawer of my bed side table. I decided that nuts and dates, after a hefty sehri were enough to sustain me during college hours, and the other snacks would serve as lunch when I returned at two. After coming back from college, I went to my room, ate my snacks and felt at peace with the world.

That day, after iftar, my elder brother announced he would not fast the next day, as he was unable to study for his exam while fasting, and would flunk if he were forced to fast. My parents’ reaction was quite ‘expected’; they raved and they ranted and, after grumbling about how ‘delicate’ this generation is, my parents gave him permission on the condition that he would make up for it once his exams were over. They told him scornfully that I, their younger son, had more steel in me, as I was not letting my fasts get in the way of my studies. My brother glared at me, and said he didn’t know how I could manage to take lectures and study for exam while fasting.

I congratulated myself silently at my smartness. For the first time, I was enjoying the approval of parents and my big bro was under fire. It was a good feeling, really.

That night, after I had taken care of the next day’s ‘eats’ and started working on an assignment, my elder brother came in to my room. He asked how I was managing to study and fast. I told him what my devout friend who fasts and studies had told me when I had asked him the same question; it’s the faith that keeps a person who fasts strong. My brother was impressed, and looked ashamed. He said he had changed his mind and would fast and study like me. Then, he asked me if I had a spare highlighter. Without thinking, I told him to take it from my drawer.

If I have to draw the picture of what happened next, you readers are really not that smart!

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It was more of an innocent mistake, really. My sister and I were seven and 9. It was our first fast and our mother had dressed us up in ghararas for the occasion. About 4’ o clock, my sister’s battery conked out. She lay down beside the prayer mat, looking miserable. I, the older sister, wasn’t feeling too different. I was very thirsty and wanted water. Finally, I removed the top of the water bottle my mother used for ‘parha hua pani’. (Water over which one blows after reciting verses from the Quran to help recover from illnesses). I reasoned that since it was the ‘blessed water’, drinking it would not break the fast. We both had a couple of sips, which got us though the rest of our roza. Later, I asked my mother if we could drink ‘parha hua pani’ while fasting. Mom said no and became suspicious. She asked if we had drunk from her bottle. I denied and to date this is the only secret that my sister and I have kept of each other!

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Mine is a different sort of confession. I was, in my parents’ eyes, a delicate child. I was frisky and used to play a lot, but I was always slight of built. My brother, who is two years my senior, had his roza kushai (first roza party) when he was seven. He had not meant to fast, but we used to get up at sehri time and eat with our parents just for fun. That day, my brother announced he would fast. He used to be quite chubby, and when he said he wanted to fast, my parents allowed him. So when I turned seven and he boasted how he had kept his first fast at that age, I became jealous. I asked my parents to let me fast, but they refused. They told me I was not strong enough and may be the next year they would consider whether to let me fast or not. The smirk on my brother’s face was too much to endure, and I decided to fast.

 As was our custom, I also had sehri with my parents and brother, and then went to sleep. We were dropped off to school by our father. My brother was fasting, and my mother had given me my snack box or rather ‘lunch box’ and water bottle. When I returned from school, my mother asked me as usual to change and pray before lunch. I told her I was fasting, and showed her my snack box. It was already past 1’o clock and my mother was surprised. She tried to persuade me to eat, but I refused adamantly. I offered my Zuhr prayers and went to sleep. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I slept through most of my roza, only getting up in time to offer Asr prayers. Ten minutes after that, the Maghrib azan marked the end of my first roza. I still remember how my mother had filled the table with all the things I loved!