“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed/When you get what you want, but not what you need/When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep/Stuck in reverse.”

– ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay

“I started writing this song in the initial days of the lockdown,” says singer, songwriter, composer, lyricist and music producer, Bilal Maqsood about his third and most recent single, ‘Thak Sa Gaya Hoon’ (after ‘Zalima’ and ‘Naya Naya’).

But the story behind the creation of this song requires us to go back in time.

It was a time when fatigue and depression was setting in because we were living in the initial days
of the global pandemic (SARS-CoV-2, an infectious disease, better known as Coronavirus or COVID-19) without a cure.

It required people to stay at home and not meet anyone. Traveling was a no-go as were public events.

“During those lockdown sessions,” says Bilal, “I wrote two verses of the song.”

He also sang it during those lockdown sessions. The early days of lockdown, notes Bilal, didn’t affect him as much because Bilal Maqsood is not the most outgoing artist. He is not one who gets out of the house as much.

“Being alone in the house didn’t make a difference to me but people around me were so badly affected as they began going through depression, anxiety.”

As Bilal recalls, it was an avalanche because no matter whom he spoke to, they were distraught and worried about the immediate present and the coming days.

“Keeping all these things in mind, I wrote the song to provide a sense of hope, a silver lining and the idea that things will get better.”

Bilal wanted to project the thought that the future won’t feel as bleak but perhaps I am tired so I have stopped engaging. But I have not given up.

“I connected with so many people on Instagram and wrote this for people.”

Personal complexities eventually took a toll on Bilal Maqsood. “Four months ago, I went through the worst period of my life.

“I don’t know what or how it happened but I completely crashed. I went through an acute phase of anxiety where nothing was making sense. Everything scared me and I was on medication, talking to doctors and psychiatrists.

During this period, this song returned to me and this song gave me so much hope. It resonated with me.”

Bilal had made the song originally for everyone else who was feeling distraught and anxious and as a silver lining and the hope that peace will come through. However, this song also allowed him to find peace.

‘Thak Sa Gaya Hoon’ is a result of thinking,reflecting and while some people give upcompletely, this song propagates the idea that I will get up but I am taking a break. I am tired but I will rise and I will enter my life again

“I thought about finishing the song and making it for myself. And I completed it and as those four-five months passed, I started feeling better and I came out of that phase to a point that the medication had been reduced to nearly zero.”

From 100 per cent, the meds were reduced to approximately two percent, confessed Bilal.

During what was the worst phase of his life, the song took a personal meaning. The line ‘Thak Sa Gaya Hoon’ became apposite for Bilal. “It was a time where I reflected on many things that you don’t ordinarily do in everyday life.”

There are so many things, observes Bilal, that we take for granted. You’re not grateful or as grateful to God as you should be.

“These last four-five months made me ponder on what is our purpose in this world, human connection is so important, the work we do – whatever it may be – should benefit more than our own self and we need to get out of the self, the ego, and not be a narcissist.”

“‘Thak Sa Gaya Hoon’ is a result of thinking, reflecting and while some people give up completely, this song propagates the idea that I will get up but I am taking a break. I am tired but I will rise and I will enter my life again.”

Having risen from that phase of fear and anxiety, Bilal Maqsood ultimately describe the true purpose of the song to provide some form of peace to anyone who has gone through a similar or deeper phase of the same. That, to him, is the real reason for realizing this particular song. He notes that he never planned to release this song post restrictions easing up on Covid-19. But because the personal experience he went through convinced him to release it in the hope that it also helps others.

“Lines ever more
unclear/I’m not sure I’m even here/The more I look the more I think that I’m starting to disappear.”

– ‘Crystal Ball’ by Keane

Bilal Maqsood was never battling his own legacy as part of former music group, Strings.

But over the years, he has done a number of solo songs as part of Strings such as ‘Anjaane’, ‘Khirki’, ‘Sonay Do’, ‘Sohniye’, ‘Mera Bichra Yaar’, ‘Jago’, ‘Urr Jaoon’, ‘Sar Kiye Ye Pahar’ and ‘Mil Gaya’. Has he delivered something as lasting as ‘Khirki’ or ‘Anjaane’ or ‘Sar Kiye Ye Pahar’?

Yes.

The undercurrent of the song is reflective of what it means to feel emotionally drained while leaving the song open-ended. You can connect it to anything and anyone or any circumstance that has or is pulling you down and fight back. Self-awareness is the song’s other pillar because it is not set to a merciless sound design.

We full endorse the song and you, dear reader, should give it a go before dismissing it.