Letters

Dear Nadine,

I am a 24-year-old girl. I belong to a middle class family, but the guy I am in love with, R, is from upper class. I met him at workplace where he had come to see my boss, who is his friend. My boss is a good man, and treats me like his sister. He introduced me to R, and asked me to type a couple of letters for him. R thanked me very nicely and I forgot all about him for the next few days. Then he again came to the office and my boss was out. He asked me to do a couple of things, and I didn’t refuse because I knew he and my boss are very good friends. When the work got done, he proposed me out of the blue! I was shocked and thought he was joking. I told him I would marry him if he meant what he had said to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it. It was only our second meeting, and I did not know him at all. But he is very good looking and I was charmed and flattered by his interest.

Now, the problem is that he is already engaged. He told me that he got engaged to the daughter of his father’s business partner, but would break the engagement at an appropriate time. His father had pressurized him to get engaged, although he had protested at that time because he did not like that girl. I sort of felt bad about the girl, but told myself R didn’t love her, and a rich girl like R’s fiancŽe would not lack proposals. R asked to keep our commitment secret for some time, even from my boss who is his very good buddy. He wanted this time to thrash out his engagement issue. I agreed to do it, but my boss is a very decent man, so I decided to tell him about R’s proposal. The next day, I told my boss and asked him to keep the matter to himself. My boss heard me out in silence, then told me that the engagement of R and his fiancŽe was a result of a very passionate love affair. He also told me that R was a great guy to hang out with, but was a womanizer and was only playing me. According to my boss, he is only flirting with me. R seemed very sincere to me, but I trust my boss like my own brother, and he has no reason to lie to me. I cannot ask R because he had told me very firmly to keep it a secret. R has been asking me since then to go out with him, and I have been successful in stalling him so far. The main reason he does not suspect there is a problem is that my grandfather had a mild heart attack and I told him I cannot get away as in my free time I have to look after him. I am very confused. Please tell me what to do.

Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,

In all probability, R is not sincere and it is your good luck that you shared this ‘commitment’ with your boss. If you trust your boss, you should forget R and thank God who has saved you from the evil designs of R. If you don’t trust your boss in this matter, you should try to investigate the matter through someone you do trust. You can ask R directly without divulging your source, too. Till this matter is clarified, you shouldn’t get involved with him. If R asks you to meet, tell him that without a firm commitment you cannot go out with him anywhere as it would be bad for your reputation in case you are seen with him by someone from your family. Ask him how much time he needs to sort out the matter so you can talk to your parents about him. You should impress upon him that any clandestine relationship with him is out of the question. Stay firm and hopefully the matter will be resolved soon.

Best of luck.

Problems that need a solution? You can e-mail Prof. Nadine Khan at nadinekhan_34@yahoo.com

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