Going through a break up? Instead of letting loneliness take hold of you, try putting a positive spin on being single and work on moving forward in life. Take a page from Katy Perry’s handbook for the broken hearted - the pop princess has been quoted saying that ‘everything feels brand new’ post-break up. Taking a new stance on broken relationships, this week, You! shares some of the real life break up stories to let people know that they’re not alone and things will get better. Read on...
‘I found someone perfect for me’
In college, I had a crush on my senior. Coming from an all-boys school to co-ed, I didn’t know how to ask a girl out. I confided in my friends and one of them went to talk to her about us. When she got to know about it, she came to confront me, I told her the truth. She responded after a few days saying that she liked me too. According to me, things were going great, we used to hang out and spend time together. We had our ups and downs, but the real trouble started when she moved abroad with her family. She wanted me to talk to her all the time and then started having a problem with me hanging out with my friends, who I’ve known my whole life. I even heard stories about her being with someone else but I shrugged them all off because I believed her word over my friends. This went on for six years. Six years of mental torture until one day; she said that her parents want her to get married. I really had to convince my parents to agree, but what I heard from the other end was that ‘I tried but my parents don’t agree.’ I asked her to let me speak to them but all I heard were excuses. Anyway, she got married to her cousin and I felt dejected. I blamed myself for being so stupid, but I eventually got over. In fact, after two years, I found someone perfect for myself and I couldn’t be happier.
Asim, 26, Banker
He wanted better choices, so did I...
We were doing bachelors in the same engineering university and in the same batch. We became friends and suddenly started falling for each other. We came close and then realised that things were quite uncommon in our relationship. He was a guy from other side of the world... where people have to preserve the status quo. His father had his own engineering firm, where he wanted his son to work at after he gets done with his graduation. His mom was like other women in their community, who had certain standards for their ‘would be daughters-in-law’. On the other hand, I belonged to a simple middle-class family, where people had simple aspirations in life. We just had to earn for a living and support our parents. I remember he always used to tell me about his family’s expectations and how I had to fit in ‘their environment’. He started grooming me according to his family’s taste. But I never minded that because I was in love with the guy. For me, his preferences became my preferences and I never wanted to let him down. Our bachelors ended, I asked him to tell his family about me. I had already kept my sisters in loop who also insisted me that it was time to take things one step ahead. One day, he told that he can’t continue with me anymore as his parents won’t accept me. Our status and class differences could have made life difficult and that’s why he thought of calling it off.
It feels as if it will take a lifetime to get settled in life again but gradually, I have started to believe that I shouldn’t say goodbye to life for someone who didn’t think about me for even once. Since he wanted to go for better options (as he might have thought of finding a girl of his calibre), I also have my own...
Aamina, 28, Engineer
Once a ditcher, always a ditcher!
We were deeply in love with each other. Things were going strong in our relationship but something really harsh happened to me that turned my world upside down. One fine day, a close friend of mine called. During our conversation, my friend told me that she had to attend an engagement ceremony that very day. Randomly, I asked her who the couple was and when she told me about it, I was completely in a state of shock. When I inquired further, I came to know that it was my own boyfriend who was getting engaged to the girl. Obviously, this is how I left the guy as soon as I learned what he did to me. I don’t know how many girls were being cheated on by him but one thing is clear, I got to know about him before I could take my relation one step ahead with him.
Asma, 40, Entrepreneur
Crazy stupid love
I was dating this guy for three years, and things were getting pretty serious. He had already bought an engagement ring. But the relationship started to get rocky when he told me he wanted to go on a trip with his school friends. It’s not that I was a bossy girlfriend and didn’t want him to hang out with his friends. It’s just that his friends group had his ex-girlfriend who was also joining them on the trip. What made me feel cynical about my boyfriend was that he didn’t want me to accompany him. I don’t know whether he was scared of my presence around his ex, or was it something else. I was thinking about the future and a lifelong relation, and he just wanted to make me feel uncomfortable with his past. He broke up with me, saying, ‘You are an insecure woman and I can’t spend my life with somebody who will always try to invade my personal space. I feel suffocated with you!’
I gave him back all his stuff. He didn’t give back anything though. For once, I thought that I was a bad girlfriend who didn’t trust the guy she loved. But his rough break up with me made things clear and I believe I took the right decision. Currently, I am happily moving on in life and have no regrets. Looking up for some better options and enjoying being single.
Saniya, 22, Teacher