V-Day special

February 14, 2017
By Erum Noor Muzaffar

That irresistible feeling... that adrenalin rush, falling in love is but natural. Usually the romance is at its peak in its initial stages; the passion grows during courtship period and one can feel its presence till the engagement phase.


That irresistible feeling... that adrenalin rush, falling in love is but natural. Usually the romance is at its peak in its initial stages; the passion grows during courtship period and one can feel its presence till the engagement phase. However, it starts to fade away as soon as one gets married. Yes, generally in our society married couples shy away from proclaiming  their love for each other.

Mostly couples lead a monotonous life and somehow romance takes a back seat in their mundane routines. They often take life too seriously and completely brush off the idea of celebrating occasions like Valentine’s Day. For them it is only for couples who are in love or engaged.

V-Day special

Well, it’s quite understandable that married life has its own practicalities and responsibilities but it does not mean that the doors of joys and happiness are shut on you. You can be as cheerful, expressive, and romantic as you were at the time of your marriage. Well, I have been married for 15 years, and I still feel the same passion and zeal within me. Unlike many regular couples, my husband and I lead a happy and content life. Believe me, there is no magic formula for that, all you need is a positive attitude and a strong will to lead a happy life, (no matter how bad your circumstances are). Yes, you need to work on your relationship constantly to let the love glow. Still confused on how to bring back romance in your boring life? Read on...

1. Trust your spouse: Every relationship is based on trust, if there is no trust, there is no relationship. Trust your spouse. That’s the first step towards building a solid relationship and a guarantee of uninterrupted supply of romance in your married life.

2. Give him/her some space:  Being romantic does not mean you have to be with your spouse 24/7. Give your partner some breathing space. Sometimes your over indulgence may suffocate your partner. So if he likes to spend a few hours with his friends then let it be. Same goes for husbands. If your wife wants to go to a kitty party, let her enjoy with her friends! Break the chains, and you will romantically and naturally get inclined towards your hubby/wife.

3. All rights (not) reserved: When you tie the knot don’t assume that your hubby is now your property. He has other people in his life too like parents, siblings, friends, cousins etc. So treat him as an individual not as your possession. When you give due respect to your in-laws, your hubby’s love for you will definitely grow over a period of time. A tried and tested formula!    

4.  Privacy matters: Living together does not mean you can’t have your own life. Spouses should respect each other’s privacy. For instance don’t check your hubby’s mobile or his Facebook in his absence, it’s actually bad ethics. There is no point keeping a vigilant eye on your spouse’s activities, it may spoil your relationship that will eventually lead to total absence of romance from your life.

5. Work on your appearance constantly: You married a hunk and now you do not even want to look at the same hunk who has turned into a fat, bald guy. Similarly your hubby will lose interest in you if you don’t look good. Appearances count. Join a gym, take care of your diet and shed those extra pounds. When the two of you look good as a couple; you are showered with compliments and that gives an instant boost to your romantic life!

6. A little bit of flirt is healthy: Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting cheating on your partner but there is no harm in some light flirtation. It keeps the spark alive. If you get attention from the opposite sex, it will make your spouse jealous and this envy factor attracts him more towards you!    

7. Treat your hubby as a friend: When you are in love, you always want to see and talk to your boyfriend and when the same person becomes your hubby, you tend to hide things from him. Maintain that level of trust by treating him as your friend and not as a hubby. It will give your relationship a strong and romantic bonding.       

8. Do not fight in front of others: Never argue or fight in front of others. It’s like exposing your own weaknesses and it gives an excuse to others to gossip about you. It may break your spouse’s heart and he/she may detach himself/herself from you emotionally.

9. Don’t talk ill about your spouse: Similarly, when you are angry with your spouse, don’t talk ill about him/her with your family or relatives. You may forget it after some time but they will remember it. What if your spouse comes to know about it? Don’t you think it may hurt his/her feelings? It may create a big ‘dent’ in your romantic life.  

V-Day special

10. Don’t be possessive: Yes, your hubby is yours and no one is taking him away from you. Don’t feel jealous if he talks to his female cousins or colleagues. Vice versa if your wife is a professional woman and has male colleagues, just don’t see them as your rivals, they are just her friends and she is all yours. So have a heart, be a little open minded and make your life easy and romantic for both of you. 

11. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours: Yes, it’s a two-way traffic. If hubby wants his wife to be nice with his family then he has to be civil with his wife’s family too. When your wife is happy with you, she feels more prone towards taking care of your needs and you automatically want to give her some nice gift as a token of appreciation (for being nice with your family). This ‘give-and-take’ relationship can actually keep romance intact in your lives.    

12. Spend sensibly: In marriage, romance is not only about being lovey-dovey! There are ups and downs too, so if there is a financial crunch, try to resolve it mutually. Cut down your expenses and support your hubby. This will definitely bring the two of you closer to each other.

13. Sharing is caring: Don’t leave your house on your wife alone. Your house is your responsibility too. If you help your wife with household chores, she will truly appreciate your efforts. Believe me or not, this kind gesture will surely strengthen your romantic relationship too.   

14. Don’t retaliate: All fights trigger a natural range of emotions - from rage to sorrow. If your hubby is angry, just listen to him quietly, don’t react as your retaliation may bring fuel to the fire and your argument may turn into an ugly fight. You can always put your point across when he has cooled down. The best secret of a romantic life!  

15. Don’t break the communication: Normally, when we are upset or angry, we stop talking to our partner which aggravates the situation. We only prolong the tension when we become silent. So keep talking and keep that element of romance alive.

16. The fun factor: In married life you are preoccupied with routine life so much that you hardly get time for romance. Don’t let your romantic side die, try to take time out of your hectic schedule and make a conscious effort to spend some leisure time with your partner once a week. Go alone on dinner, go to the cinema, watch your favourite movie together and if nothing else go on a long drive and enjoy a hot cup of coffee together!