INTROSPECTION

An open letter to my baba

You have always been my superhero. From infant to toddler, from tween to teen, I have grown up under your shelter, finding you always there for me, helping me solve my petty problems. I have never felt like making friends because you have been my best friend since the time I opened my eyes in this world. I have shared every moment with you, baba.

You gave me my first bicycle and taught me to ride it with your plethora of safety instructions and warnings. You have been my mentor and teacher. Whether it was learning a new language or how to offer my prayers, I looked up to you. Why shouldn’t I? We resemble each other in looks - I have your curls, your eyes, your smile - it only made sense that we had the same habits, the same style, as well. I still wear your slippers, use your comb, boss around the house.

You were the reason I was a top achiever, always bringing home trophies and medals. It was the pride in your eyes when you saw me excelling that kept me motivated to do extremely well in my academics. You told me to believe in myself, to not let others’ opinions define me.

And so establishing a strong bond between us, baba, you made sure I was fit and healthy. You forced me to eat my veggies when no one ever could. I could not say ‘no’. How could I? I was the most obedient of your kids, baba!

There were days when it was difficult for us to make ends meet, and yet you managed to pay for our fancy stationery, school trips and birthday parties without letting us suspect that it was not easy. It was obvious you wanted to give us the best, even if it meant sacrificing your own needs.

The day I was getting married, I woke up early and saw you sitting alone in deep thoughts. When the time of rukhsati drew near, I saw you teary-eyed and heard your voice shake while you tried to keep a calm composure.

I am now happily married to the person you chose for me. But I miss your presence and the love and care you showered on me. I miss rushing to greet you at the door when you return from office. I miss our ‘silent’ conversations. Don’t think that I will ever forget your values, baba, for they not only have a positive influence on me, but are a permanent part of my personality. In a society where girls are not encouraged to study or earn, the fact that you let me make my own decisions, to choose what I wanted to study and where I wanted to work, that you gave me space enough and opportunity to identify and learn from my mistakes ensured I set my standards high.