“My cookbook is a historical memoir. It explores relationships, and special moments centred on food – Marina Farid“

Marina Fareed is a stalwart of the global South Asian community. For decades she has been known as a facilitator, connector, hostess, and spirit of goodwill. Daughter of a high-ranking Pakistani official and wife of an Ambassador, Marina’s life has been populated, colourful, and diverse. In the course of living in Spain, Lisbon, Mexico, and New York City - where she has resided for forty years - Marina has balanced myriad worlds and artfully built bridges for her native Pakistan. She has cultivated amazing friendships and welcomed an inimitable cast of characters to her home. In her book ‘You Are Invited’, Marina shares experiences, characters, and recipes gathered along the way, as well as her perspectives on life and entertaining. Outside of her engaged social, family, and community life, Marina supports the work of several development programmes and NGOs serving the sub-continent.

You! Tell us about your early life?

Marina Fareed: I was born in Chittagong, a port city, in the south-western part of Bangladesh, formerly East Pakistan. My father was an eminent banker and my mother an educationalist. They moved from Chittagong to Dacca (as it was then spelt), the capital of East Pakistan. My father was later transferred to Karachi, West Pakistan, another port city and the financial centre of the country.

You! Does that period in history feature prominently in your book?

MF: Absolutely! My girlhood and fondest memories are set in the 1960s, a magical time in Pakistan, when we were economically strong. My father was at the height of his banking career and my mother was vice principal of PECHS School and College, where I studied until boarding at the Convent of Jesus and Mary in Murree. My parents entertained and maintained an open house. There were all sorts of interesting personalities in our drawing room - politicians, writers, artists, leading figures and foreign delegates. I have been able to give shape to those personal experiences in my writings.

You! You describe your marriage and those early years as the wife of a diplomat so beautifully in ‘You Are Invited’. Can you tell us about that, Marina?

MF: ‘You Are Invited’ conveys the charm of that chapter of my life succinctly, and subsequently how I evolved around ‘food and friends’. I completed my Senior Cambridge and returned to Karachi in December of 1969. I was introduced to my diplomat husband, Shaukat Fareed, and we got married in 1970. Within two weeks of our marriage, we moved to Madrid, Spain on a posting. It was like an extended honeymoon. The city enchanted me completely. I had no experience of diplomatic life and was clueless about being a homemaker. But I was blessed to have a wonderful live-in help like family, Majeed, sent by my mother-in-law, and the guidance of friends and family, who came and stayed with us. Slowly, I began to entertain, learning recipes, developing menus, setting tables and bringing people together and that was the origin for what became decades of hosting.

You! What was it like living in Madrid, Mexico City, Portugal, and New York in the ’70s and ’80s?

MF: The 1970s were an amazing adventure for Shaukat and me. Our postings in Spain and Mexico established great relationships and created a treasure trove of memories. Along the way, I steadily gained confidence as a homemaker and hostess, but nothing comes easy. I made tons of mistakes. Following recipes is one thing, but the art of actually processing the food is a completely different story - it comes with lot of practice, over time getting a feel for the textures, the consistencies of the gravy, the sauces, and most importantly it must be elegantly presented and visually appetising! These important lessons and skills I learnt through our postings, travels and years of practice. I hope when people read of our times in those great cities they feel transported to those places, understand the joy of making connections and great food.

In the late ’70s, when Shaukat was back on his home posting in Islamabad, that too was an amazing time. However, when Shaukat was sent to New York we did not know that it would be his last posting as a representative of Pakistan or that we would permanently stay in New York. It started out like any posting we had and then bloomed and blossomed into another phase. Shaukat started with the Pakistan Mission to UN and then joined the United Nations secretariat, the combination of his working with UN and our living in New York truly put us at the nexus of many worlds. Through the years we’ve had diplomats, dignitaries, actors, writers, artists and a cast of diverse characters come through our lives and our home. Home entertainment and food took another dimension as it deepened our bonds to some very special people. I’ve been so lucky to be able to maintain the open home that I enjoyed as a girl, growing up in Pakistan.

You! What made you write ‘You Are Invited’?

MF: Food brings people together, but how to prepare food and bring it to the table is a skill that needs considerable training. For me, cooking and home entertainment evolved as a beautiful way to live life. It was therapeutic, budget friendly and gave me a great sense of fulfilment. In the lockdown of 2020, unable to gather my usual circle of friends and family, I began reflecting on the role of food. In the course of that, I took stock of my life and the people in it. Unforgettable conversations shared over meals with food as the catalyst for memories. That really was the root of this book. But the seed was planted years before! Friends and family have been suggesting that I write about my hosting experience since over a decade ago! I brushed it off because I really didn’t think I had it in me but then sometimes, we surprise ourselves.

You! And how is the book structured?

MF: This book is divided into themed sections of ten or so recipes. They range from daals, vegetarian dishes, biryanis, and other amazing dishes - interspersed with stories and narratives around them. I also invited close friends to contribute essays of their own experiences around food or of dining at our home. I gave a lot of thought to the recipes and tried to create something comprehensive but also practical. This book is really trying to capture the connection between food and people, and promoting the importance of ‘connections’.

You! There’s a lot of wisdom in the book that seems to go beyond the dinner table and kitchen. Is there a central philosophy that guides this book?

MF: For starters, I would say that this is as much a cookbook as it is a historical memoir. It explores relationships, and special moments centred on food. My philosophy behind entertaining is easy. The recipes are simple, quick and doable, to accommodate the frenzy of modern life. Really, I wanted to share my decades of experience as a host so that others could embark on similar journeys. Food, as this book shows, is as much sustenance as it is fuel for interrelatedness and our collective soul. In my book, I do talk about human relationships in depth because that’s a big part of what my life has been.

You! Any cookbook authors that inspired you?

MF: I really admire Julia Childs, Anthony Bourdain, and Nigella Lawson who have written with great charm. My late friend, Ismail Merchant was another inspiration, someone who encouraged me to see entertainment and hosting as an art form, to frame it in a project of my own. His cookbooks are so relaxed and unpretentious, much like he was. I also have to mention Suvir Saran, a Michelin star chef in New York. I love Suvir’s books because he really comes through on the page, you feel his vibrant and intelligent personality, the passion he has for his subject.

You! How has the response been?

MF: I have only just published ‘You Are Invited’. The first official launch was at the Lahore Literary Festival in February. Friends and family have been so incredibly supportive from conceiving of this book and now to promoting it. Often, people reach for cookbooks when they need a recipe. I wanted to create a book that people could also reach for in moments of leisure, if they want to meet an interesting character, or learn about diplomatic life, or be transported to a different place. In that sense, I had an advantage not being too literary. Because the book is quite accessible, while also having a wealth of stories and, hopefully, conveying some wisdom of a life lead with people.

You! Tell us a bit about diplomatic life and its perks…

MF: You might think it undiplomatic, but I believe diplomatic life was more glamorous back in the day. The quality of people who pursued this line of work and the scale of entertainment were on another level. In the book, I describe some of the pomp and ceremony we witnessed in Madrid and really it was beyond grand. If you read the profiles in ‘You Are Invited’ of some leading ambassadors and foreign representatives, you wonder where those kinds of people are today. It was an enormous privilege for Shaukat and me to represent Pakistan abroad, at the time that we did. When you are in the Foreign Service, there are tremendous opportunities, great exposure and the chance to expand your outlook and perspective and to lead a richer life. They were certainly beyond privileged - a life I’ve tried to do justice to in the book.

You! Why don’t you tell us about some of your favourite recipes?

MF: You might want an exciting answer but really my favourite recipes are very basic. Like getting daal right, for example, is so satisfying. For years, the artist M.F. Hussain, dined with us almost every evening when in New York and we have such wonderful memories of him. There would be a buffet line set up at home but Hussain sahib just wanted daal with a bit of rice, eating very, very little because he believed that was the secret of vitality in later life. Another favourite food is qeema, for me it is a life saver.

I make it in big batches and then freeze it so that it is handy for a variety of dishes and for emergency meals. I can use that same qeema recipe to make a moussaka or a pasta sauce or even heat it up on its own. And then omelettes. I have one friend who - when in New York - is as likely to drop in at noon as at midnight. The thing she most likes to eat is an omelette, plain and simple. So far as I’m concerned, it’s a 24 hour food - delicious, nutritious, and endlessly versatile. Of course, I have dozens of other recipes that are close to my heart, but I really encourage folks to get those basics down first because they open up many possibilities.

You! What is your perspective on hospitality in Pakistan?

MF: Oh, Pakistan as a country is very hospitable and welcoming. I’ve invited friends from abroad to visit, and they were all floored by what they experienced. I feel so fortunate to have replicated the Pakistani way in the big apple. In terms of individual hostesses, there are several women I know in Lahore, Islamabad, and Karachi who entertain with extraordinary taste, flair and grandeur. I so admire them for upholding our extraordinary culinary tradition and in fact that is my next project - to try and document these incredible taste makers.

Erum Noor Muzaffar is the editor of You! Magazine. She can be reached at iram29@hotmail.com