I know that this kind of relationship is not accepted in our society. I am very confused. Am I wrong? Please help me out....
He has ditched me
Dear Guru,
I am a 24-year-old woman working in a bank. I was engaged to M, who was with me in university and is now also my colleague. We were in a relationship for five years before we got engaged. Initially, he was very loving towards me, but now he has changed. He often talks to other girls and goes out with them. I talked to him about it, and he told me to shut up. I love him intensely and can’t leave him. Now, he has told me that he will not marry me. I am very upset, Guru. I cannot marry someone else. I feel so dejected. I try not to think about M by involving myself in mindless activities, but I can’t get over him. There is nothing left for me in this world now. What should I do?
Rejected Girl
Dear Rejected Girl,
I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It’s a difficult and painful situation, but it’s important to take care of yourself and consider what is best for your future. It’s all right to feel upset, betrayed, and dejected. Instead of suppressing these emotions, confront them. Talk to your mother, a sibling or a friend you trust. Sharing your feelings with a trusted family member or friend can make a lot of difference, as it is part of the healing process. So, consider doing it if you haven’t already. A therapist can provide support and help you gain perspective. Sometimes, an outside viewpoint can offer clarity and help.
Another thing that can help you get over M’s betrayal is reflecting on the relationship objectively. Were you really happy? Was M considerate and respectful of your sensibilities? Was sharing things with him easy, or were you scared of being mocked? Remember, a healthy relationship should be built on mutual respect and trust.
It’s not healthy to waste your time thinking about M and telling yourself you cannot marry someone else. It might seem impossible now, but there are other potential partners out there who can treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Keeping an open mind about the future will help you forget M, and consider someone more worthy of you.
However, the pain of hearbreak cannot simply disappear; healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. Over time, you will start to feel better and more in control of your emotions.
In the meantime engage in activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. This can help improve your mood and self-esteem. Exercise, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones can be very beneficial. Remember that your worth is not defined by a relationship. You are valuable and deserve to be with someone who appreciates and respects you.
Good luck
Am I wrong?
Salam Guru,
I am a 16-year-old girl, belonging to a well-off family. My parents love me, and I am popular with my teachers and friends. My problem is I am attracted towards my physics teacher. I know it’s not right but I can’t help it. I think he also has feelings for me, as I have caught him watching me many times, and he treats me very kindly. I know that this kind of relationship is not accepted in our society. I am very confused. Am I wrong?
Please help me out.
Confused Girl
Dear Confused Girl,
It’s common to develop crushes on people with good personalities, such as teachers, older cousins, or friends of your dad, during adolescence. These feelings are often based on admiration and respect for their knowledge and character. However, it’s important to understand that a romantic or emotional relationship between a teacher and a student is inappropriate, not only in our society but everywhere else. Fortunately, these adolescent crushes are usually temporary. As you grow and meet more people, your feelings will probably shift and change.
If your teacher is acting inappropriately, it’s important to seek help from school authorities or your parents. Teachers are in a position of authority and should not undermine the trust placed in them by parents and students. Such relationships can cause many complications in your school life, potentially affecting your education and reputation.
It’s important to recognize that while your feelings are valid, acting on them is not appropriate. Focus on your education and personal growth, and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out to your parents and teachers. Good luck
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