I think it is separation anxiety that I am experiencing. Guru, tell me how I should make this easier for myself....
I think she will forget me
Dear Guru,
I am a college student preparing for my exams these days. I am a hardworking student and I aspire to become a doctor for which I am working really hard.
Guru, I am crazily in love with a girl in my class. She is smart, humorous, and very kind. I thought she would want to make a career in medicine and become a doctor like me, but she is aiming to do BBA. Just the thought of not getting to see each other every day makes me mad with sadness.
I am trying my best to be at peace with this reality now as we both are very serious about our career goals, but deep inside I know she will forget me. Though she assures me that we will be friends for life and get married after achieving our career goals, my mind is not ready to believe it. Maybe I doubt her commitment to this relationship which translates to the fact that I have trust issues. I think it is separation anxiety that I am experiencing. Guru, tell me how I should make this easier for myself.
Anxious Guy in Love
Dear Guy in Love,
One thing I must say is that you aren’t crazily in love with that girl, you are actually in “mindful’’ love with her. Mindful love refers to being aware and conscious in your feelings and actions within a romantic relationship. It involves being present and attentive to your partner’s needs, emotions, and the dynamics of the relationship. This type of love emphasizes being thoughtful, considerate, and intentional in your interactions, rather than acting impulsively or without thought. You know exactly what you are doing, and you are focused. And also, you are mindful of what your relationship might look like in future.
So, the first thing you should do is celebrate your courage to walk on different paths and prioritizing your personal dreams, otherwise we have all heard a lot of stories of young couples in love, making irrational decisions that just result in an unhappy life.
Second, understand that you just have no control over the future. Individuals grow and develop personally, which involves continuous learning, self-improvement, and exploration of one’s interests and values. People change with time; their likes and dislikes change, and their ways of thinking change, so be prepared for that mentally. You will also change a lot probably in the coming years. Stay in touch, of course, but also make sure you are seeing each other’s families too. They will help you navigate through this relationship and if all works well, get engaged in one to two years. Above all, trust her instead of doubting her commitment.
Dealing with separation anxiety can be challenging, and you should consult a clinical psychologist to help you with it. In the meantime, you can try some strategies to deal with this condition. Practice remaining apart for short periods and gradually increase the time apart to help build confidence and reduce anxiety. Stay in touch through phone calls, messages, or video chats to maintain a sense of connection. Engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies.
It’s important to remember that overcoming separation anxiety may take time, and it is okay to seek help if needed.
Good luck!
Kindly send your problems at: us.mag@thenews.com.pk
