By US Desk
Fri, 03, 24

No I’m not free to hop on a call. I will trudge or even crawl but NEVER hop....



* Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16): It’s the law that if you go to a new a hairdresser, they have to spend 7 minutes slamming your old one.

* Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl): No I’m not free to hop on a call. I will trudge or even crawl but NEVER hop.

* Jelisa Castrodale (@gordonshumway): I do the NYT’s Connections every morning and then spend the rest of the day hating myself because I didn’t realize those four names were all doomed whaling ships built in 1832.

* Amy Colleen  (@sewistwrites): I consider myself reasonably intelligent but I cannot process How to Play Complex Board Games. You all sound like, “and then if you roll a level-up glitter cabbage you get 6.5 ergometric points, which can be used every 4th turn as long as no one has zorped the Cones of Dunshire”

* Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat): Reset password: ‘MaryKateOlsen’ Re-enter password: ‘AshleyOlsen’ Your passwords must be identical.


Laugh lines


Two elderly women were out for a Sunday drive in a large car and both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.

The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light”.

After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again, and again they went right through.

This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through, and she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!”

Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”

Points to ponder


“When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative.” – Chris Rock