Guru, I am not against getting married but I don’t want to sacrifice my own goals and dreams. I am very upset. What should I do?
I want to become a teacher
Dear Guru,
I am a 23-year-old girl. I am from a well-off family, and I have recently done master’s in English Literature from a good university. Guru, instead of getting married I want to become a teacher because it is a noble profession and I love teaching. I often help out my younger siblings and neighbours’ children, and I can make them understand anything I teach them. But my parents think I should get married and are not supportive of my dream to teach English in a school or college. They say teachers are paid peanuts and I will only waste my time and lose my looks if I go for it. My mother wants me to accept the proposal of a doctor, F, who is the son of my father’s friend. I know this guy quite well, and as kids we even used to play together. There is nothing wrong with him in any way that I can use to decline his suit. He is good looking, educated, rich and very decent, so my parents want me to marry him. My mother says there is a scarcity of good proposals these days. Guru, I am not against getting married but I don’t want to sacrifice my own goals and dreams. I am very upset. What should I do?
Upset Girl
Dear Upset Girl,
Teaching is a noble profession but since teachers are grossly underpaid, most parents don’t want their offspring to opt for this noble avocation. It is unfortunate that your mother is not allowing you to pursue your passion, but it is totally understandable. Teaching is not a waste of time at all, and you can tell your parents that it was the vocation of prophets, so definitely a respectable profession. What I don’t understand is her assertion that you will waste your time and lose your looks. How can teaching make you lose your looks? You are from a well-off family so you won’t have to walk to work in heat and dust or commute by bus like most teachers who are indeed paid peanuts.
Your mother is right about the scarcity of good proposals, and like all responsible parents she wants you get married to a good, well-settled guy, which F seems to be. My dear, my advice would be not to reject the proposal out of hand. Instead, talk to F about your dream and see how he feels about this issue. Normally, doctors are busy people, and F will probably be fine with the idea that you will have something to do in his absence. If he doesn’t want his wife to work then you have the right to reject this proposal. I know your mom will not be happy but you will have to take a stand for your own self. Don’t worry about the challenges that may come along if you want to chase your dreams. Hopefully, F will be broadminded and sensible, and will encourage you to follow your heart.
Good luck!
Kindly send your problems at: us.mag@thenews.com.pk
