* Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner): last night i had cereal with milk for the first time. life changing.
* Kat McPhee (@katharinemcphee): To the pack of paps stalking me while I’m in the middle of the ocean in Europe - Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner are just two yachts over. Please focus on what truly matters.
* Lady Gaga (@ladygaga): why do people look at me like I'm crazy when i use coupons at grocery or try bargaining at retail, IM FROM NEW YORK WHERE IS THE SALE RACK
* ParisHilton (@ParisHilton) Jealousy is a disease get well soon.....
* To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
* Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your jokes, you need to let that mango.
* Geology rocks but Geography is where it’s at!
* I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
* A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
* So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!
* My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends.
* Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak.
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”
He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An, ID ten T error? What’s that ... in case I need to fix it again?”
The computer guy grinned.... “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”
“No,” I replied.
“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”
So, I wrote out ... I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold....